Just home from treatment newly diagnosed

Good evening to all you beautiful brave people ..My day has been a little better ..l have got out of bed a bit ..but just want to stay there as it my comfort zone ..l forced my self a shower and felt so vulnerable kept looking  at my boobs and thinking l just feel like  I'm on planet cancer never to return to the life l had 3 weeks ...ago l feel strange and weird .like someone else has entered my body ...l hope that does not  sound insane ,,but yes I'm still scared ..l go to,see my surgeon next Wednesday for results and treatment from the lumpectomies ..l feel all my friends are going away no one has come to visit ..apart from one person ..l,feel so alone ... maybe they don't no how to deal with it ...Yes it would be nice to have someone to just snuggle up,to at night and tell me it will be ok....l still don't understand how you are all getting through this l fear l won't have the strengh and will give up ..yes l know it's a shit thing to think ..Hopefully tomorrow will be better ..Sending all my love to you all .take good care xxxxx