"I don't have time for BC"
Let me start from the beginning... Fri 13th April 2018, a day after I turned 35 years old. As I was getting ready for work, I felt a strange lump on my right breast and it was painful to touch. Initi...
Forum Discussion
@Flips thanks for sharing your story and so honestly. It is a gutwrenching time physically, mentally and emotionally. I think we all had the same thought, 'we don't have time for this' and yet here we are? . So many decisions in such a short time is horrendous, and I agree I've had 2 different types of biopsies in my 7yr ordeal and I would never do it again. Hindsight is a wonderful thing on this path as you will see as you go. I'm so sorry that you had to have the mastectomy immediately, that in itself is so incredibly demanding mentally.
I think as you stated the hardest thing to believe is, you are fit and healthy and obviously eat well, yet we are hammered constantly and basically they say diet and exercise will reduce your risk of getting Breast Cancer and yet here you are...and EVERYONE I know are just like you including me. Diet and exercise did not spare me my 1st diagnosis in 2011 and it didnt spare my recurrence in 2015. I don't care what the stats say, I know real people and this just isn't a factor at all. I went to gym 3 days a week and walked 4 days a week prior to my 1st diagnosis and ate a healthy diet. I had to have chemo in 2015 as it was Stage 2, Grade 3 aggressive all within my yearly checkup? really after I'd already had radiation for DCIS, clear margins for lumpectomy and tamoxifen for 4yrs and a good healthy lifestyle??? but it came back?? and they don't know why. So I had Genetic Couselling as only had my Mum who had BC that's it, I was BRCA Gene negative and the Counsellors all recommended a single mastectomy was all I needed as the other breast is independent and my risk was no different to the normal population. That in itself was gutting..I cannot tell you mentally how hard it was for me to get my head around. 14months post chemo I did have the single mastectomy but with immediate diep flap reconstruction. A very hard long road but I have to say, the outcome was better than I thought it could be and psychologically I have coped so much better. Going flat on 1 side was never an option as am an E cup but size 10-12. It's so very personal for everyone but I couldnt have done a mastectomy without the reconstruction for many reasons. I had this surgery as my breast was damaged by radiation so the skin was too fragile and thin.
I can say through treatment was the hardest and some very dark days and I can be completely honest with you, I didn't care if I made it through those days in the end, that's how horrific it was and how sick I was. I was a single parent of 2 Teenage Children at the time and this was my 2nd time around and it was damn hard. I was always a workaholic but you know what?? the Universe had other ideas. Once I surrendered to what was going to be my life I was better in myself. Yes it was hard on so many levels, but you do get through and you wonder as the years go on how you even did it? I don't put work first anymore and wouldnt you know?? Im back full time this year and doing great, haven't needed any leave at all, typical huh? lol The biggest thing I found in the end was, I could not choose to do any of this for anyone else...it had to be for me or not at all and I couldnt carry anyone elses thoughts or feelings on my diagnosis. So I have always done my appts alone. Im incredibly selfless but this taught me finally that I mattered too, and I had to love me more and put me first.
Friends and family are great but they dont understand the complexity of it all and when they see you recovered either by treatment or surgery they feel your OK again and normal again. So here is a perfect place to come and just talk because we get it.
I was 43 at 1st diagnosis, 47 at 2nd and now 3 yrs clear :D all surgeries finished and bursting back into life again. Just remember this is a moment in time and it's not what we get dealt but how we choose to deal with it. You're doing great! just take each step at a time and know with certainty you can do it and you absolutely will move forward with a different perspective of course...be kind to you above all else.
PS I was 5 months into a new relationship at my 2nd diagnosis, timing?? he was beautiful...3.5 years later we now live together :D there is so much waiting ahead....keep going.
Hugs Melinda xo
I think as you stated the hardest thing to believe is, you are fit and healthy and obviously eat well, yet we are hammered constantly and basically they say diet and exercise will reduce your risk of getting Breast Cancer and yet here you are...and EVERYONE I know are just like you including me. Diet and exercise did not spare me my 1st diagnosis in 2011 and it didnt spare my recurrence in 2015. I don't care what the stats say, I know real people and this just isn't a factor at all. I went to gym 3 days a week and walked 4 days a week prior to my 1st diagnosis and ate a healthy diet. I had to have chemo in 2015 as it was Stage 2, Grade 3 aggressive all within my yearly checkup? really after I'd already had radiation for DCIS, clear margins for lumpectomy and tamoxifen for 4yrs and a good healthy lifestyle??? but it came back?? and they don't know why. So I had Genetic Couselling as only had my Mum who had BC that's it, I was BRCA Gene negative and the Counsellors all recommended a single mastectomy was all I needed as the other breast is independent and my risk was no different to the normal population. That in itself was gutting..I cannot tell you mentally how hard it was for me to get my head around. 14months post chemo I did have the single mastectomy but with immediate diep flap reconstruction. A very hard long road but I have to say, the outcome was better than I thought it could be and psychologically I have coped so much better. Going flat on 1 side was never an option as am an E cup but size 10-12. It's so very personal for everyone but I couldnt have done a mastectomy without the reconstruction for many reasons. I had this surgery as my breast was damaged by radiation so the skin was too fragile and thin.
I can say through treatment was the hardest and some very dark days and I can be completely honest with you, I didn't care if I made it through those days in the end, that's how horrific it was and how sick I was. I was a single parent of 2 Teenage Children at the time and this was my 2nd time around and it was damn hard. I was always a workaholic but you know what?? the Universe had other ideas. Once I surrendered to what was going to be my life I was better in myself. Yes it was hard on so many levels, but you do get through and you wonder as the years go on how you even did it? I don't put work first anymore and wouldnt you know?? Im back full time this year and doing great, haven't needed any leave at all, typical huh? lol The biggest thing I found in the end was, I could not choose to do any of this for anyone else...it had to be for me or not at all and I couldnt carry anyone elses thoughts or feelings on my diagnosis. So I have always done my appts alone. Im incredibly selfless but this taught me finally that I mattered too, and I had to love me more and put me first.
Friends and family are great but they dont understand the complexity of it all and when they see you recovered either by treatment or surgery they feel your OK again and normal again. So here is a perfect place to come and just talk because we get it.
I was 43 at 1st diagnosis, 47 at 2nd and now 3 yrs clear :D all surgeries finished and bursting back into life again. Just remember this is a moment in time and it's not what we get dealt but how we choose to deal with it. You're doing great! just take each step at a time and know with certainty you can do it and you absolutely will move forward with a different perspective of course...be kind to you above all else.
PS I was 5 months into a new relationship at my 2nd diagnosis, timing?? he was beautiful...3.5 years later we now live together :D there is so much waiting ahead....keep going.
Hugs Melinda xo