@kmakm yes, what you are saying does make sense. I should adopt a different attitude towards my boyfriend and those around me. Embrace my complexities.
However, to be vulnerable in front of people is putting me out of my comfort zone. It feels confronting to be writing this. As if I am showing a weak side of me and it is not normal. It's the 'unknown' that feels uncomfortable and I struggle with that sometimes. What I mean is - I have to shuffle my life around because cancer is making changes whether I like it or not. Maybe I need to figure out how to make peace with cancer - accept it and everything that comes along with it.
I like your advice. Kind of like - 'changing the way I think and feel towards what has happened to my body'. Sounds reasonable.
Thanks x
Flips