Completely get what you are saying...I had just changed jobs and finally feeling a little less stressed and then within 3 months a cancer diagnosis. I can so relate to the lack of sleep, the fear of death and putting your life plans on hold. Never mind tbe finamcial nightmare. I couldn't do much reading as I had a type of motion sickness on AC chemo, stemitil helped a little...phone reading was kept short, no reading books..so TV and laying down in a recliner is how I spent some time.
I get the stares as feeling intrusive. I couldn't go out some days because of it. My chemo unit and blood taking area was about 100m from my workplace. ..so it was hard to avoid people. I spent ages deciding what to wear with my ever increasing body and matching a scarf. ..and applying makeup...so people could say...you look so well (but I feel like crap)
I went out for coffee once a week at least and went to my local pool usually 3 times a week to just walk up and down in deep water and get out tbe house. I sometimes got motion sickness there too so had to sit on the side until it passed.
Anyway...I got through and over 12 months since chemo finished and 9 months since herceptin finished. I have slowly picked up the pieces of my life and have started to feel I can plan again...holidays...study....it will all happen. It hasn't been an easy recovery but worth it.
Kath x