Forum Discussion
Freaking out about Mastectomy
Hi Everyone,
So, My surgery is booked for 27th March, which is next Monday. I had no choice, Right mastectomy. The surgeon suggested immediate recon with air inflatable tissue expander to be replaced by a silicon implant later on would be best recon option for me at present. They will test sentinel node while I’m under and may take out the lot if sentinel is positive, I won’t know till I wake up.
I’m scared of lymphodema as I’m really active and do heaps of gardening, sport and laboring work. Well not as much lately actually, since I was diagnosed in January I’ve been a bit emotional and unmotivated.
I was worried everything was taking too long, but now Im terrified because its happening too fast.
Has anyone had this surgery in Royal Brisbane & Women and how did it go. Im very scared.
Has anyone had an MRI that gave a false positive? I keep fantasising that they are going to realize its all a mistake, the bright area on my MRI isn’t DCIS after all, just some harmless change. Even though I’ve had mammogram, ultrasound, and MRI. plus 2 biopsies in the area on 2 different days, by 2 different pathologists that both came back as high grade DCIS, + I keep hoping.
What if my breast is gone and then they realize it was a mistake and the area was only small and I could’ve got away with lumpectomy. It will be too late.
And then I think, what if they find invasive cancer and this surgery that seems to be unnecessary overkill actually saves my life. Because as it stands I have DCIS which isn’t actually an invasive cancer, yet a mastectomy is the only treatment. There’s no answer, it just goes round and round in my brain. They won’t know till the surgery is done.
I have to keep telling myself they don’t have 2 surgeons working on you for 4 hours then keep you in hospital all week for something that isn’t real. If they had any doubts they would do another biopsy. But I still cant quite accept it. Actually Im going quite mad,
I’m scared of everything. I’m normally so healthy, fit and independent, it’s going to be awful to be so vulnerable both during the surgery and while recovering after. But I'm inspired and encouraged by all you brave ladies that have got through this and still find the strength to support and encourage others.
I am supposed to be camping over Easter and going to the Byron Bay Blues Festival. We booked it a year ago and I’m in too much denial to sell the tickets and cancel. Ive read all the books they give you, but I still can’t imagine how I’m going to feel. Pretty sure the festival is a no go though.
I’m not oblivious to the silver linings in my story and I am sorry to rant about trivial concerns, but I haven’t told any of my friends about this, so there’s no one else to rant to.My gorgeous fiancée has been wonderful, taking time out from his work to come to appointments and support me, but he needs a break from it. My sister in Sydney is helpful and good to talk to, but I just don’t feel like talking to her today. I have been to 19 appointments so far repeating things over and over plus running it round and round in my head for the last 2 & ½ months and my treatment hasn’t even started, so I don’t really feel like talking. So glad this forum is here to get some of this stuff off my……….mind. xx Vicki
52 Replies
- Thanks all
- Hey @Bevvzy, even when the surgeons think one thing it can turn out to be opposite when pathology comes back. My tumor was thought to be mega aggressive and pathology came back complete opposite so try not to stress. You can't change the outcome and it's a long enough wait to get pathology back so if you can just rest, recover and try and relax. Sending positive vibes your way. Xx Cath
- Bevvzy it's hard absolutely, so many questions and your Surgeon is best to run you through it all. Its not abnormal to have taken more lymph nodes, and it doesnt necessarily mean there is anything wrong either. Chemo is not just for positive lymph nodes no, it also has to do with the pathology of the tumor, its a little complex. Too difficult to guess or get ahead just yet, try and focus just on the surgery right now, very normal to not be able to lift your arm. Hugs Melinda xo
- Hey @bevvzy - totally understand that you will have heaps of worries and questions now. Once the pathology tests are in, you'll be much clearer about the path of treatment - I know it's hard to avoid, because the brain is buzzing and there are so many unknowns....but try and take a step back, be kind to yourself, focus on resting and recovering from your operation. I find if I take it more slowly - one day, one hour and sometimes even a minute at a time - I can feel less overwhelmed. Nikki xxx
- Hi can see a few familiar names here so thought would pop into the conversation and maybe get some more advice. I was diagnosed a little over 3 weeks ago with grade 3 idc. Had my mastectomy late yesterday so.pretty darn sore! Cant even lift arm but i guess thats normal. Thing is i was only meant to have sentinel node removed during the mastectomy but when i woke up and asked why i couldnt lift arm, the surgeon said that he noted a number of enlarged auxillary glands so took them too? All of a sudden I'm starting to wonder if i will be lymph node pos as had convinced self that would just have sentinel node and be negative. Always the optomist lol. Now im wondering if it doesnt come back neg will need chemo also and not just the hormone treatment. You dont have chemo if lymph nodes are neg do u ??? Is it not so great that he had to take more than sentinel as were enlarged ?
- @"Bon Bon" How are you traveling?? are you healing/mending?? that's a hell of a lot to go through, completely understand your thoughts on it all. I've done this BC twice in 4yrs, its bloody hard the surgeries, the treatments all of it. All we can manage is one thing at a time, and even then its like "ENOUGH" after 6yrs multiple surgeries and treatments Im so glad to say 16 months post chemo and 7 weeks post Mastectomy/Diep flap recon. NOW onward and upward, we absolutely make the best decision for ourselves at the time. Take care Melinda xo
- Thanks for responding ladies. Yes we have to go with what we have been delt, be glad for the good and handle the rest
- Hoping that things are settling for you and you are enjoying a nice relaxing Easter break.
sending hugs
chris - @Bon Bon, that is the short stick in the pile !! :-E
i too had mastectomy (L) and expander, started chemo and then got a bug.
Raging fever, emergency admit. IV anti's and plastic surgeon decided on surgery with washout with hope of keeping expander.
Prior to theatre we discussed that it may have to come out and try again later.
I left the final decision at time of surgery to him. Ended up losing it.
He was very disappointed but bottom line for him was, don't risk disrupting chemo and compromise first priority....cure and wellness.
Am happy to have put my trust in him. Now finished 6 months of chemo and returning to surgery in 2 weeks for expander (L) and prophylactic (R) mastectomy with straight to implant.
This time, knowing that not everything goes to plan but hoping it does..
Hope you're back on track soon. :)
A. - @Bon Bon, sending you a big hug. Xx
