Feeling overwhelmed and anxious
hi everyone i have been diagnosed with breast cancer with HER2+ , stage 2a. I saw the oncologist for the first time yesterday and I will be having the following- FEC x 3 cycles, 3 weekly then TH x ...
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After two weeks with a sore back, my better half booked a PET scan, just for peace of mind.
Yes, chemo sucks and shes been in bed 14 hours a day for months, which explains a bit of backache. But you know, peace of mind.
And she mentioned discomfort in her ovaries.
The scan was early in the week. The MO called a day later to say that the back was all clear, bit there was something on an ovary that we should "keep an eye on".
I heard all this second hand. And I stopped breathing. 60 hours is a long time to hold your breath. I looked up articles.... Sore ovaries? How does that work when you're not on any hormone based drugs? I ask dr google. I get more and more afraid the more I read.
I have never been as terrified as I have been the last two days. Too scared to cry. Too scared to say anything. Too scared to tell my mum and dad. I'm a deer in the headlights. My thoughts have been nightmares. I have been talking to people at meetings and making decisions at work on autopilot. I'm a freaking zombie. Im walking dead in the land of the living. I'm so afraid.
So I went along today to the weekly appointment to see the MO. All is fine. Its just an old scar that totally doesnt pose any issue, it has been present on all the scans all along. It's nothing. Not even a thing. And sore ovaries are normal when you're on all sorts of drugs.
Today I breathed.
Yes, chemo sucks and shes been in bed 14 hours a day for months, which explains a bit of backache. But you know, peace of mind.
And she mentioned discomfort in her ovaries.
The scan was early in the week. The MO called a day later to say that the back was all clear, bit there was something on an ovary that we should "keep an eye on".
I heard all this second hand. And I stopped breathing. 60 hours is a long time to hold your breath. I looked up articles.... Sore ovaries? How does that work when you're not on any hormone based drugs? I ask dr google. I get more and more afraid the more I read.
I have never been as terrified as I have been the last two days. Too scared to cry. Too scared to say anything. Too scared to tell my mum and dad. I'm a deer in the headlights. My thoughts have been nightmares. I have been talking to people at meetings and making decisions at work on autopilot. I'm a freaking zombie. Im walking dead in the land of the living. I'm so afraid.
So I went along today to the weekly appointment to see the MO. All is fine. Its just an old scar that totally doesnt pose any issue, it has been present on all the scans all along. It's nothing. Not even a thing. And sore ovaries are normal when you're on all sorts of drugs.
Today I breathed.