Feeling Lost

My advice is to get a breast care nurse. She will be your new best friend. I have only met mine once as I live in a small country town but we speak for ages on the phone or i can email or ring at anytime. I ask her anything & she answers me with what she thinks is best for me & she hasnt been wrong yet. She is medically trained so I trust her. Some doctors will guide you without telling you what you should do but sometimes you want a black & white answer. Ultimately decisions are up to you but it is nice to have someone you can trust that you can turn to anytime of day.
Get lots of info/brochures from BCNA & Cancer Council websites & also the doctors waiting room once you know what you are dealing with. Info is power!!
I know it's not easy but try not to focus on the "What if's". It wont get you anywhere but make you miserable. You havent made this happen to you. You have just been "picked" like the rest of us. Yes, family history & how you look after yourself does play a part but sometimes, your next in the queue! You cant change what has happened but you can change what is going to happen moving forward by looking after yourself & trying not to stress too much. I worried about every kind of treatment/surgery & sooo many options & decisions to make. I ended up not having to even worry about half of them because I didnt need that particular treatment/surgery so energy wasted on nothing. Goal posts change all the time so focus on what you do know & not what you think may happen as it may not even apply to you.
I went to a wonderful BCNA conference the other weekend & learnt a lot from the medical professionals that spoke. I will give you some of their advice & some the best treatment they recommend is free!
Firstly, exercise is one of the best things you can do to help yourself through this, emotionally, physically & medically. Anything you can do will help providing you are well enough to put sandshoes on & go for a short walk. Eat well. There are no miracle foods but we all know what we should be eating!
Also, stress & cancer dont mix but stress doesnt cause the cancer. So every time you worry about something, you are not doing your body any good. Easier said than done!
Before your appt Monday, write down all the questions you have & there are no silly questions.Take someone with you to all your appts as another set of ears are great. You can also record the appts or just take notes. 
try to stay strong & positive & be kind to yourself. Accept help from friends/family with food/cleaning etc. One step at a time & fingers crossed things arent as bad as you think. Thinking of you & sending positive thoughts for Monday. love & hugs xx