Feeling like a fraud
Hi Everyone. I have been newly diagnosed. Everything has happened at light speed. I had a followup ultrasound on the 9th of Feb for another issue that they wanted to check. They found a small lump, d...
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Hi @Bearyfolk. Sorry you're here.
I had an email on a Thursday recalling me to the Breastscreen clinic the following Monday. Back again a week later to receive the diagnosis (4/12/17). Hookwire insertion, sentinel node biopsy and wide local excision (lumpectomy) the next day. Bam. Not clear margins so a week later a re-excision. It was a whirlwind that impacted me greatly and the speed from which I think I am still recovering.
My prognosis is good, where so many people's are not. However I am struggling emotionally. Which then makes me feel guilty. It's a vicious circle compounded by my sister's death from this wretched scourge in 2016. I feel like I have some sort of survivors guilt.
I suppose what I'm trying to say is that we all have our own emotions, there are no 'wrong' ones, and that sometimes the absence of emotion can be your brain's way of protecting you from the whirlwind.
My first, only and overwhelming emotion was intense anger. That gave way to tremendous sadness (SO many tears). The tears have mostly dried and now I'm just miserable most of the time. I'm looking forward to the day when something (hopefully better) replaces miserable. You will probably find that you'll experience a range of emotions as time goes on.
Or you could be someone who takes it in their stride and just gets on with it! There's no right or wrong, despite those nagging voices in our heads, just be you. Best wishes.
I had an email on a Thursday recalling me to the Breastscreen clinic the following Monday. Back again a week later to receive the diagnosis (4/12/17). Hookwire insertion, sentinel node biopsy and wide local excision (lumpectomy) the next day. Bam. Not clear margins so a week later a re-excision. It was a whirlwind that impacted me greatly and the speed from which I think I am still recovering.
My prognosis is good, where so many people's are not. However I am struggling emotionally. Which then makes me feel guilty. It's a vicious circle compounded by my sister's death from this wretched scourge in 2016. I feel like I have some sort of survivors guilt.
I suppose what I'm trying to say is that we all have our own emotions, there are no 'wrong' ones, and that sometimes the absence of emotion can be your brain's way of protecting you from the whirlwind.
My first, only and overwhelming emotion was intense anger. That gave way to tremendous sadness (SO many tears). The tears have mostly dried and now I'm just miserable most of the time. I'm looking forward to the day when something (hopefully better) replaces miserable. You will probably find that you'll experience a range of emotions as time goes on.
Or you could be someone who takes it in their stride and just gets on with it! There's no right or wrong, despite those nagging voices in our heads, just be you. Best wishes.