breast cancer roller coaster

I think breast cancer is a bit a a roller coaster for all of us in one way or another.  I was diagnosed mid Jan after a routine mammogram.  My tumour was small and so was told a lumpectomy and radiation would take care of it.  Unfortunately it was a lot more aggressive than they expected and there were cancer cells in the lymph nodes so all of a sudden chemo was on the table.  Had my last chemo two weeks ago, hated it, the fatigue and various other side affects have knocked me around and I have put on weight and feel uncomfortable in my body.  Don't like wearing a wig, way to hot and uncomfortable with all the hot flashes, so have a collection of scarves and hats.

I start radiation next week and will have to stay away from home as with the fatigue I couldn't manage the 2.5 to 3 hour drive each way without killing myself or someone else.  I am so pleased to be finished chemo and am not too worried about the radiation and yet for some reason at the moment I'm extremely emotional, crying and don't know why.  I for one am looking forward to getting off the roller coaster, however I guess that is a long way off with the years of hormone blockers, doctor visits and the not knowing if the C word will raise its ugly head again somewhere down the track.