Hi Vicki, the most normal thing with a bc diagnosis is that things are no longer "normal", Your parameters, outlook on life, plans you had made have been upturned. That alone is so confronting and frightening.
This whole disease changes you immeasurably. However, you are still the lap swimmer and rock singer, mother & grandmother in waiting.
So, with your initial shock you had made alternative plans for a lumpectomy and now that has taken a totally different tangent. Meanwhile, being on a waiting list conjurs up all sorts of crazy thoughts & brings about it's own stresses.
Yes, it is easier said than done but try & not focus on the fact that your anxiety is rising and the fear that it is "growing" whilst nothing is happening. This in itself is one of the hardest parts.
Finally, welcome to the online forum - a site of like-minded people who have experienced your fears, frustrations and anxiety. We totally understand where you are coming from.
Best wishes to you.
Sheryl xx