Back In Shock Again.

Hi Vicki. I resonated with your fear. I remember my first appointment with my surgeon, at how devastated I felt that I had to have a mastectomy rather than a lumpectomy. I only had a three week wait, from diagnosis to surgery. It all happened so quickly! I wanted to have some proof that I had a beautiful left breast so a girlfriend who dabbled in photography took some beautiful photos for me, and another friend, an artist, offered to make a plaster cast of my breasts. I am so glad that I have those keepsakes. It took me quite a while to come to terms with my chest wall...it's a journey that is different for each of us. You will reach a point of acceptance when you are ready...it's ok to grieve. That was nearly five years ago. I was recently diagnosed with a completely different type of BC in my right breast. They suggested a lumpectomy so they could get the pathology (FN biopsy was inconclusive) but I asked for a mastectomy straight up. My attitude this time around was completely different to the first. I wanted it gone, I didn't want the risk. The surgical team seemed to breathe a sigh of relief...and it turned out to be worse than they initially thought so the mastectomy was the best thing I could have done. I will be thinking of you as you begin your journey. It is what it is. Acceptance sometimes seems impossible when you're just starting, but it will come and life will be somewhat easier then.