Dear @CeeCee
I had one malignant lymph node - and no, I did not have metastatic cancer. Even though the node was HER positive and my tumour wasn’t. Metastatic means when cancer is present in other organs or significant parts. One node means that the cancer has moved a little, and so chemo to eradicate any cancer cells still around somewhere. The good news is there was only one malignant node. That may be all there was.
Chemo is always a frightening option too but it’s been a successful treatment, many people find cold cap protects their hair and some don’t have too many side effects. I’m no stoic and I kept working throughout with little trouble. For me, it was just the best I could do to avoid a recurrence (11 years clear).
Try taking one thing at a time. The what ifs can swamp you and many may never happen. Best wishes.