I don't think you're over reacting. I was diagnosed 3 years ago, low risk, small tumour, no nodes, stage 1, but I chose a single mastectomy and reconstruction. No family history. I have yearly scans, and my anxiety levels skyrocket a couple of months before the scans. We all live with the shadow of recurrence sitting on our shoulders, and i think anything you can do to reduce that fear is a good thing. You can only go with your gut instinct and what you feel is right for you. Don't let anyone dissuade you from your decision, particularly not the medicos. They are concerned with medical outcomes, not emotional outcomes, as I have realised over the past 3 years. Are you planning reconstruction? I had immediate implants, both breasts to even things up. Yes, it's affected my sex life because my mastectomy nipple has absolutely no feeling in it, and that has affected my libido/responses during foreplay. You and your husband will both have to adapt to the changes, but you say your relationship is strong. But ultimately it's about reducing your fear and anxiety. Put that first, then work around the rest. Best of luck, and I really feel for you.