Thank you. Such wise words and advice. I know its not strictly breast cancer related, but I beliieve stress was a major factor! @ordinarygrace I spent about an hour on the phone to women's legal. She said I should start noting dates and times of abuse and neglect of the chldn and I might have a case for family court. This could take years and I can't get a DVO in the interim as they don't believe anyone's at risk. I'm just going to have to go through the process and manage his behaviour as it occurs. Hard to leave a controlling, manipulative creep when he's made it clear he's got no issue using your innocent kids as pawns to continue controlling you.