Why is it so hard?
Hello, I’m new to the network even though I’m well past finished with my treatment. I even have almost enough hair on my head to call it a bob, sort of. I finished the mastectomy/reconstruction/6 mont...
Forum Discussion
Hi @12paws,
You are definitely not alone as you can see. This is the part that is not in the listed side effects.
That feeling of "I should be grateful" "I should be doing something spectacular with my life now, I've had a second chance"
I am close to two years on from surgery and over 12 months from active treatment.
It does take a while and 12 months is not long in the big picture of what we've been through. I renounce the "new normal" and it can shove off. I'm looking hard for my old one and that in itself presents problems.
Life has gone back to the daily routine.
Sometimes that ticks me off and sometimes I am thankful it kind of has I guess. Family and friends think you're all ok once all the nasty treatment is done, a bit like getting over the flu. You were sick, you got treated and now you're better. The thing is though, we never felt sick before all this.
It is hard to explain that your head just isn't the same. However, yes it does get easier to control those thoughts of recurrence; they are there, but less frequent..
However, I am more compassionate now (mostly he he). I tell myself to slow down more often, be a bit more observant and appreciate the small things. I say yes to all invitations without thinking about it where once I would have been too busy, didn't want to spend the money, couldn't be bothered or too scared to try something, I will go and do it, try it , spend it, whatever. It takes an effort sometimes but I always enjoy myself when I make that effort.
I no longer take shit from anybody.
Actually, I think BC may have given me some kind of tourettes. LoL Fuck it.
Keep on trucking lovely.
Big hugs
xoxoxo
You are definitely not alone as you can see. This is the part that is not in the listed side effects.
That feeling of "I should be grateful" "I should be doing something spectacular with my life now, I've had a second chance"
I am close to two years on from surgery and over 12 months from active treatment.
It does take a while and 12 months is not long in the big picture of what we've been through. I renounce the "new normal" and it can shove off. I'm looking hard for my old one and that in itself presents problems.
Life has gone back to the daily routine.
Sometimes that ticks me off and sometimes I am thankful it kind of has I guess. Family and friends think you're all ok once all the nasty treatment is done, a bit like getting over the flu. You were sick, you got treated and now you're better. The thing is though, we never felt sick before all this.
It is hard to explain that your head just isn't the same. However, yes it does get easier to control those thoughts of recurrence; they are there, but less frequent..
However, I am more compassionate now (mostly he he). I tell myself to slow down more often, be a bit more observant and appreciate the small things. I say yes to all invitations without thinking about it where once I would have been too busy, didn't want to spend the money, couldn't be bothered or too scared to try something, I will go and do it, try it , spend it, whatever. It takes an effort sometimes but I always enjoy myself when I make that effort.
I no longer take shit from anybody.
Actually, I think BC may have given me some kind of tourettes. LoL Fuck it.
Keep on trucking lovely.
Big hugs
xoxoxo