Why is it so hard?

'Give yourself a break' and 'Be kind to yourself' and 'it will take 12 months for you to get your emotional shit back together'. These are the 3 things i kept saying to myself because it wasn't just me with a cancer diagnosis it was my husband too(stage 3 prostate cancer but all is good now) and 12 months on for me i was right(sitting here bawling my eyes out over the field of women). It does get easier but it takes time. I didn't go yesterday,  i could've...should've...but even being at the forum on Saturday was emotionally draining and i felt good in myself that i got there. I'm really glad that you're running again as i find exercise is the one thing that got me mentally back on track and in control again so 3 times a week finds me at the gym and I've gone back to pilates. And I'm sorry about your woofy, 12paws, we had to do the same with our beautiful 11year old cavvy, same year as diagnosis, i still miss him, he was such a gentleman of a dog. It doesn't take much to knock you about emotionally because i find I'm a much more emotional person now which really pisses me off but it's just part of the new me and I'm better at controlling it except for last week,  too many things happening at one time and they always come in threes (dad's anniversary,  reminders of first surgery this time last year and the forum).
So, be kind to yourself, hang in there and know that you can talk to us anytime.
Best wishes, Cath