Forum Discussion
Why are we in hiding?
This started as a post on another discussion but I felt that it's importance to me meant it needed it's own spotlight. I started to diverge from the issue at hand with, "If anyone has an issue with my disease that is their problem - I can't deal with it." The only concession I make is head covering when I'm out of the house and a prosthesis "in public" - that is more about being sensitive to my immediate family than me caring.
I do wish that "out and proud" was more socially acceptable. Given that 1 in 8 women get breast cancer, I wonder how many of us are walking around wearing an uncomfortable prosthesis or going under the reconstructive knife just to appease social norms (and I don't mean that women who want reconstructions, shouldn't have them - just those of us who don't care). Will I go down the reconstruction path? Possibly. But not because I have a problem with my self-image.
I know there's been exhibitions, etc of woman with mastectomies but unfortunately I think they edge towards the label of "freak show" (and I don't mean that in a derogatory sense). What would happen if it was just normal to see women without a breast/s? Would the world stop or fall apart, or would society accept that shit happens and there goes a survivor? And to take it further, maybe the possibility of a mammogram would not be quite so frightening.
I do wish that "out and proud" was more socially acceptable. Given that 1 in 8 women get breast cancer, I wonder how many of us are walking around wearing an uncomfortable prosthesis or going under the reconstructive knife just to appease social norms (and I don't mean that women who want reconstructions, shouldn't have them - just those of us who don't care). Will I go down the reconstruction path? Possibly. But not because I have a problem with my self-image.
I know there's been exhibitions, etc of woman with mastectomies but unfortunately I think they edge towards the label of "freak show" (and I don't mean that in a derogatory sense). What would happen if it was just normal to see women without a breast/s? Would the world stop or fall apart, or would society accept that shit happens and there goes a survivor? And to take it further, maybe the possibility of a mammogram would not be quite so frightening.
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- My daughter (the one with brown eyes) and I used to have that as our theme song when she was younger and happy to be a dag with her Mum.
- @Sister I looked at that photo and immediately googled Van Morrison's Brown Eyed Girl. The song may be a bit before your time, and the lyrics not relevant to, well, anything, but it made me smile anyway. Marg xxx
- @Sister you rock ! I look just like you but without the eyebrows. I have a fabulous Brazillian , I don't even like Brazillians, I prefer a tidy whipper-sniper edged lady garden but have had to give it a go. I just hope my permanent laser trimmed edge grows back just the same as before, it cost enough back in 2001
i couldn't care less about being bald , but is that because I expect it'll grow back so I'm fairly relaxed about it? I'm unsure . I'm only wearing a cap because it's cold in Victoria. I wear my Wee Willy Winkie cap to bed because it's warm.
i detest my wig .... apparently it looks nice , but I don't feel like it's me. I feel self conscious , like I'm trying to hide something. Whereas my cap and scarf tell it like it is and I don't care. I wear my wig if I'm going for dinner or out somewhere special.
We we are all the same but different .... whichever path we choose to do with our treatment is the righ thing. - @Eastmum. The not wanting everyone to know is also my reason for doing the cold cap, and either wearing my baseball cap or wig. I have told everyone that needs to know and don’t want pitying looks or inappropriate questions from strangers. Like u I still feel brave and strong and that is just because of what I have been and continue to go through. xo
@Sister u look beautiful - What a great face!
- This is me not in hiding...well, except for the eyebrows - I don't recognise myself without eyebrows! (And I still can't get a decent selfie!)
- Oh @Romla you are so right. My hair is half a centimetre long and I have my chemo hats on pretty much all the time except when I'm having a hot flush! Brrrr. If the weather was warm I'd be rocking my Sinead but as you say, no way!
- Agreed - do what is right for you - on a practical level is darned cold down south atm and no way would I be going bald atm in public or private.
