What is the hardest and what is the easiest

My mother used to have a sentence on her fridge - life is what happens when you were making other plans. We say we don't like changes but we make lots of intentional changes in our life, some good, some bad. Cancer is a change that was forced upon us - but there are many on this site who have faced other changes they didn't choose either. I didn't like the thought of feeling broken when I got through chemo - not at 68, not at any time. A good counsellor helped me recognise that I was lucky - I didn't have anything really broken, my sense of invincibility was a bit dented and would benefit by thinking more about what I really wanted in my life and not by proving daily that I could do anything you threw at me. There is a difference. By and large I am happier and more balanced. I have a few things that aren't so good - my sex life isn't what it was (thanks femara!)  but then neither my partner or I feel like wasting too much time on what we can't do, better to waste it on what we can!  The prospect of dying five years ago terrified me - I have resolved that issue in my own mind, allowing me to support my mother in death in a way I could not have done before. I have faced some hard questions and got some answers that work for me. Would I have done that without cancer? Who knows. My life is what it is not what it might have been, and what might have been could have included not being here at all.  One step at a time. This is not a fast process.