Very dark place at the moment

Thank you so much Karen and Nicole,  you're right, its harder when you pick at each other when we should be holding together.  But you're right Karen, he is a keeper.  I love him to pieces, and he's a good man, but like he says, I might have broad shoulders and look like I can take anything, but inside he hurts like everyone else.  The sea change has been good for us Nicole as its meant we have only each other.  Very disappointed in my kids though.  They so nearly lost their mum, yet didn't see a lot of value in her.  I hope and pray one day they will.  I still love them even though. I feel if I harbour resentment, its not helping anyone.  We went away for a nice weekend, a draw close do something nice, and I ended up in bed the whole 4 days with food poisoning or something.  So that hit that on the head lol.  Have to have another go at that one.  Gotta laugh.  But thank you both so much for your support, and I hope that you have someone in your time of need too.  I have felt a huge load lifted off my shoulders just talking with others like this, who say its normal, don't be so hard on yourself.  It really helps.  Ive always expected a lot of myself.  Never shown anyone that I need them, until now.  Thank you so much from the bottom of my heart xxxx  I wish I could hug you all xxx