Very dark place at the moment

Thank you so much Karen for your kind words.  It helps when you hear other husbands don't cope either. I thought mine held up pretty good till now. I had to have emergency lung surgery 3 days after the lumpectomy (only to find the same day I needed a mastectomy too) but I remember sitting on the edge of the bed in so much pain before surgery, and that poor man just sobbed. It hurt so much. Cause he just wanted it taken away from me. He was helpless, and I now think that's what it is, 3 yrs down the track and he still feels helpless cause my joints still hurt, my bones,  overweight.  He thinks some of those can be fixed easily.  It's hard unless you've personally had it happen to your body to understand.  I feel for you too.  The last part of treatment is hard, as you're left thinking, is this it, how do you know it's ok, you haven't got a team of Drs making sure everything is ok.  It's scary. I understand that completely on your part.  And 3 yrs and it's still sitting on my shoulder taunting me.  And I feel I have got on with life.  Seeing other ppl worse off, does make you feel like what have I got yo complain about.  We have talked deeply about this since this episode on Wednesday and put all our feelings on the table, and I've come to the conclusion that I shouldn't burden him with absolutely everything.  Talk with friends more, because even though he's a big strong bloke, he's soft on the inside.  And I have to take his feelings into account too, as he has been on this journey with me and stuck with it all.  My children are just being childish.  In their mid 20's it's time for them to grow up.  But definitely will have counselling as everyone has suggested.  I really hope your husband can cope better too.  My hubby just gone down to the gym, that's how he unloads, so different to us.  But, I'm happy for him to take it out down there.  He's happy then.  Sorry to burden you with all this, you have your own problems still too, but it helps to talk to others who've been thru it.  I really wish you all the very best for the rest of your treatment. Hang in there.  And your hubby will hang in there too. Take care Karen xxx