The New Me.

Different things sort friends out, don't they? My best female friend for a couple of decades was diagnosed while I was working in Europe and I offered to come home. She refused, but I offered as much emotional support as possible from a distance. She had previously visited me twice in Europe and we'd travelled together quite a bit. She had a lumpectomy and made an energetic, engaged life afterwards. She's never been a person who shows emotion or discusses emotions. If anyone has a problem she wants to provide a solution immediately and tends to be quite bossy. When I finally came home after working in Europe for nearly eight years, we were close; she helped me settle into my new house. Then a huge problem arose for me because my ex-husband was dying and I was under a lot of pressure from his family and a couple of his friends - no need for details; but it was a horrendously stressful time. I was experiencing counter-culture shock anyway, and was suddenly under extraordinary financial and emotional pressure. I fell apart and expressed my distress. She couldn't deal with a "me" who wasn't my usual rational, strong, coping person. She distanced herself gradually. I told her I needed her friendship and she was off-handed. I made a couple more overtures but gave up in the end, very sadly. We've not been in touch for a few years.