The New Me.
I was so looking forward to a works Christmas Party this weekend to catch up with people I hadn't seen for a quite a while as well as friends who have been there for me since the beginning of this sh...
Forum Discussion
B4 this happened to me i was literally terrified of breast cancer. Flipped straight past any magazine article about it, was sick with fear seeing any pink washing in the media and totally upset by the amount of reminders of cancer around me. I didnt need all these reminders im a total stickler for pap smears and mammograms and was scared witless by the constant bc narrative.
My mother died of agressive lung cancer only 6 weeks after diagnosis , her only symptom was she was a little bit tired. Shortly after that a friend was diagnosed with throat cancer. I literally avoided her. I only visited once or twice not because i was mean and didnt care. I didnt feel able to look at her and tell her she was going to b ok after the shock of my mother's sudden death at the age of 68. I felt that i couldnt b a positive presence at that time so i was better off not to b there. I Was terrified at the evidence people my age were also getting this horrible disease. Weak? Maybe.
I am universally known as very strong this particular thing i just couldnt cope with. Mayb because i see my strength as so integral to my identity, any reminder of the possibility of being vulnerable terrifies me. Selfish? Probably. Something to work on . Yes!! ( i have since explained and apologised to her. Things probably wont be the same but thats ok thats life)
After that, For my own bc experience originally i only talked to one friend because i knew she had also been through bc fairly recently and i wanted to ask her about her experience at the local hospital. We talked a couple of times but she has never mentioned it since, never asked how my surgeries went. Should i be offended?? I prefer to think its her way of putting her own experiences in the past and coping the way she needs to cope. We talk about our shared passion of music and bc is never mentioned. Most people i know still hav no idea of what happened to me ( including my now recovered friend that had the throat cancer) as i hate talking about personal stuff. I just dont get as into the sisterhood vibe as much I would dearly like to. Any way im admitting this hoping to provide a different perspective in understanding someone who might not have given the support that was wanted. And maybe lessen a tiny bit of hurt. I hope every one is feeling 'as good as can be expected' today. X
My mother died of agressive lung cancer only 6 weeks after diagnosis , her only symptom was she was a little bit tired. Shortly after that a friend was diagnosed with throat cancer. I literally avoided her. I only visited once or twice not because i was mean and didnt care. I didnt feel able to look at her and tell her she was going to b ok after the shock of my mother's sudden death at the age of 68. I felt that i couldnt b a positive presence at that time so i was better off not to b there. I Was terrified at the evidence people my age were also getting this horrible disease. Weak? Maybe.
I am universally known as very strong this particular thing i just couldnt cope with. Mayb because i see my strength as so integral to my identity, any reminder of the possibility of being vulnerable terrifies me. Selfish? Probably. Something to work on . Yes!! ( i have since explained and apologised to her. Things probably wont be the same but thats ok thats life)
After that, For my own bc experience originally i only talked to one friend because i knew she had also been through bc fairly recently and i wanted to ask her about her experience at the local hospital. We talked a couple of times but she has never mentioned it since, never asked how my surgeries went. Should i be offended?? I prefer to think its her way of putting her own experiences in the past and coping the way she needs to cope. We talk about our shared passion of music and bc is never mentioned. Most people i know still hav no idea of what happened to me ( including my now recovered friend that had the throat cancer) as i hate talking about personal stuff. I just dont get as into the sisterhood vibe as much I would dearly like to. Any way im admitting this hoping to provide a different perspective in understanding someone who might not have given the support that was wanted. And maybe lessen a tiny bit of hurt. I hope every one is feeling 'as good as can be expected' today. X