The information available on the Breast Cancer Network Australia website is not medical advice and is provided for information purposes only. It should not be viewed as a replacement for a consultation with a qualified medical professional. Our website is designed to offer information and support to the general public. Be aware that we do not provide any medical advice, and for medical advice we recommend you speak to a qualified medical professional or doctor. 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death of the 'other' me?","id":"message:124852","revisionNum":1,"repliesCount":15,"author":{"__ref":"User:user:18244"},"depth":0,"hasGivenKudo":false,"board":{"__ref":"Forum:board:general-lifestyle-and-wellbeing"},"conversation":{"__ref":"Conversation:conversation:124852"},"readOnly":false,"editFrozen":false,"moderationData":{"__ref":"ModerationData:moderation_data:124852"},"body@stripHtml({\"truncateLength\":200})":" Hi Ladies' I am really sorry i haven't been here much and contributed the way I used to....the tables have turned, it's my turn to be down in that abyss, as i have so often referred to it myself.......","body@stringLength":"2858","rawBody":"
Hi Ladies' I am really sorry i haven't been here much and contributed the way I used to....the tables have turned, it's my turn to be down in that abyss, as i have so often referred to it myself......be patient with me...be kind to one another and yourselves....I'll be back on track soon....Promise! Xx
From my Facebook blog - An Ordinary Womans Extraordinary Experience
REST, RECOVER, RESTORE
What a difference a week can make! I've hit a low, a dark, scary, cry baby low....I was feeling really well last week (until the aftermath of Saturday night! LOL) and now....well let's just say that EVERY little thing is magnified....
My mind is in overdrive.....what if this, what if that.....why this, why that....what now....when......STOP STOP STOP!!!
I have been feeling somewhat 'left out'....not part of the 'real' world....participating in some kind of weird dream, where you stand still and the rest of the crowd goes whizzing by.....
I so desperately want to get back to my 'old life' BEFORE breast cancer.....where I had my hair, and yes, (I thought I would never say this), my boobs! I miss the way I used to look...the clothes I could wear....
I miss the fact that I could get up and just do things, go for a ride on the bike with my hubby....go shopping without having to stop or take someone to help me....just be a regular person going about regular every day things.....be spontaneous! if I know I have a big day or night ahead, I have to have a rest for God's sake, so I have the energy to get through that event!
Am I at the grieving stage of my experience? I have read that you grieve and it's part of the healing process....you grieve for what was....If it is I don't like it ...not one bit!.....it HURTS....it's LONELY....my heart is aching and my mind is fighting to stay rational.....
I feel like someone has died....
.....maybe that someone is ME .....the ME before breast cancer....so do I close my eyes and hang on as this rollercoaster takes me down it's steep descent once again? The short answer is YES...
I have no choice but to sit tight and hang on .....no choice but to ride this out.....no choice but to hope I come out the other side with a clear mind and a happy heart once again....
Hi Ladies' I am really sorry i haven't been here much and contributed the way I used to....the tables have turned, it's my turn to be down in that abyss, as i have so often referred to it myself......be patient with me...be kind to one another and yourselves....I'll be back on track soon....Promise! Xx
From my Facebook blog - An Ordinary Womans Extraordinary Experience
REST, RECOVER, RESTORE
What a difference a week can make! I've hit a low, a dark, scary, cry baby low....I was feeling really well last week (until the aftermath of Saturday night! LOL) and now....well let's just say that EVERY little thing is magnified....
My mind is in overdrive.....what if this, what if that.....why this, why that....what now....when......STOP STOP STOP!!!
I have been feeling somewhat 'left out'....not part of the 'real' world....participating in some kind of weird dream, where you stand still and the rest of the crowd goes whizzing by.....
I so desperately want to get back to my 'old life' BEFORE breast cancer.....where I had my hair, and yes, (I thought I would never say this), my boobs! I miss the way I used to look...the clothes I could wear....
I miss the fact that I could get up and just do things, go for a ride on the bike with my hubby....go shopping without having to stop or take someone to help me....just be a regular person going about regular every day things.....be spontaneous! if I know I have a big day or night ahead, I have to have a rest for God's sake, so I have the energy to get through that event!
Am I at the grieving stage of my experience? I have read that you grieve and it's part of the healing process....you grieve for what was....If it is I don't like it ...not one bit!.....it HURTS....it's LONELY....my heart is aching and my mind is fighting to stay rational.....
I feel like someone has died....
.....maybe that someone is ME .....the ME before breast cancer....so do I close my eyes and hang on as this rollercoaster takes me down it's steep descent once again? The short answer is YES...
I have no choice but to sit tight and hang on .....no choice but to ride this out.....no choice but to hope I come out the other side with a clear mind and a happy heart once again....
"},"Conversation:conversation:124852":{"__typename":"Conversation","id":"conversation:124852","solved":false,"topic":{"__ref":"ForumTopicMessage:message:124852"},"lastPostingActivityTime":"2016-12-03T00:01:03.000-08:00","lastPostTime":"2016-12-03T00:01:03.000-08:00","unreadReplyCount":15,"isSubscribed":false},"ModerationData:moderation_data:124852":{"__typename":"ModerationData","id":"moderation_data:124852","status":"APPROVED","rejectReason":null,"isReportedAbuse":false,"rejectUser":null,"rejectTime":null,"rejectActorType":null},"AssociatedImage:{\"url\":\"https://onlinenetwork.bcna.org.au/t5/s/nkyiu94732/images/bS0xMjQ4NTItMTk5NWk0QkI2QjZBQUEwMDBDNTEw?revision=1\"}":{"__typename":"AssociatedImage","url":"https://onlinenetwork.bcna.org.au/t5/s/nkyiu94732/images/bS0xMjQ4NTItMTk5NWk0QkI2QjZBQUEwMDBDNTEw?revision=1","title":"Image_ https___us.v-cdn.net_6027212_uploads_editor_2b_63lftph5eb4f.jpg","associationType":"BODY","width":640,"height":426,"altText":null},"Revision:revision:124852_1":{"__typename":"Revision","id":"revision:124852_1","lastEditTime":"2016-12-01T14:39:17.000-08:00"},"ForumReplyMessage:message:124853":{"__typename":"ForumReplyMessage","id":"message:124853","conversation":{"__ref":"Conversation:conversation:124852"},"author":{"__ref":"User:user:19448"},"revisionNum":1,"uid":124853,"depth":1,"hasGivenKudo":false,"subscribed":false,"board":{"__ref":"Forum:board:general-lifestyle-and-wellbeing"},"subject":"Re: The death of the 'other' me?","readOnly":false,"editFrozen":false,"moderationData":{"__ref":"ModerationData:moderation_data:124853"},"parent":{"__ref":"ForumTopicMessage:message:124852"},"body":"ScorpionQueen .. Today you are allowed to feel this way, tomorrow is a new day, but today, just, grieve ... We all need time to reflect, recharge and regroup ourselves ... You are amazing, you will find you again, we all change every day from who we were to who we are today. This is a newer, more knowledgeable you, stronger you, more compassionate you .... Curl up in a ball and cry your eyes out, because while you're curled up you are cuddling yourself, and when you are lonely nothing can beat a hug .... Sending virtual hugs your way ... Don't Forget To Love You x x ","body@stringLength":"578","rawBody":"ScorpionQueen .. Today you are allowed to feel this way, tomorrow is a new day, but today, just, grieve ... We all need time to reflect, recharge and regroup ourselves ... You are amazing, you will find you again, we all change every day from who we were to who we are today. This is a newer, more knowledgeable you, stronger you, more compassionate you .... Curl up in a ball and cry your eyes out, because while you're curled up you are cuddling yourself, and when you are lonely nothing can beat a hug .... Sending virtual hugs your way ... Don't Forget To Love You x x 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