Forum Discussion
Sorry
It has been a long time since I posted on here and that is entirely because of the way I chose to deal with what was happening around me at that time. I forgot that the ONLY control we really have over what happens in life is how we choose to react to things.
Gee I really thought I had learnt that lesson when I went through my breast cancer diagnosis and treatment! But I obviously had not!
So, I would like to apologize to BCNA for my words and reactions at that time, for any hurt or added stress that I may have caused staff at that time.
I would also like to apologize to any members, especially those who had become such terrific friends who I may have hurt with my words at that time.
I would also like to forgive myself for not recognizing that my load had become too heavy at that time. Adean says this well in her recent post about being four years clear of breast cancer. Sometimes we try to be superwomen but that is just not being fair to ourselves and those around us! It is just not healthy.
Now I would like to say how wonderful and heartwarming it is to see so many positive posts and helpful, caring comments, so many people reaching out to each other on here again. We are so fortunate to have a safe place to come and share our ups and downs as we get through the shock of diagnosis, the long days of treatment and then the 'what now?' of recovery. My heart also goes out to those who unfortunately live with a secondary diagnosis and the never ending treatment path. I so hope that they find a cure for this awful disease very, very soon.
So, I will try to remember that the only real control I have over anything is how I react to it. So sorry I forgot that last year. Wishing everyone the best for whatever stage you may be at. Enjoy if you're having a good day and sending a gentle hug if it's not going so well at the moment. Deanne xxx
22 Replies
Hi Summer
Thank-you for the warm welcome and I really appreciate your lovely words.
I just needed to take a step back and remember some of my own advice - sometimes all you can do is let people know that they've been heard. I was frustrated because I couldn't fix things (on here and in my own life) but I forgot that I could still just be there to listen in a compassionate but respectful way.
I think that the BEST thing about this site is the respect that people show for each other. It gives us the energy to deal with all the hard things that we have to go through. :)
Deanne xxx
Welcome back, Deanne. It is great to see your smiling face appear again.
You and RobynW were a godsend to me when I was first diagnosed and found this site. I think of you often and at one stage I even asked RobynW if you were OK.
You always had great responses to the needs of ladies who had been diagnosed and I am sure many thank you in their minds every day. You were always down to earth and honest but compassionate - thank you.
Keep in touch - and again, welcome back !
Hugs Summer :-)
Thank-you Cosette. That means a lot to me. Asking for help can be hard and finding the right sort of help too! What I thought I needed I couldn't achieve and I was just wearing myself out trying to get it. Sometimes you just need to change the way you are thinking and then move in a different direction. Like I said you cannot always control what happens but you can change the way you react to it. Otherwise you just keep hurting yourself.
I saw a great quote the other day, "You can't stop the waves, but you can learn to surf!". I think sometimes you have to find a beach where the waves are your size too! :)
Deanne xxx
Lovely to talk with you too :)
Deanne xxx
Hi Deanne. It takes a great sense of self-awareness and inner strength to post this. It can be hard to ask for what we need and ask for help - superwomen indeed. Glad to see you sticking around here :-) and thanks for all your valuable feedback.
Hi Deanne,
It's great to have you back!
Lovely chatting with you and thank you :)
~ Ann-Marie
Hi Rowdy, Lovely to hear from you. I can see you are doing a wonderful job of welcoming many ladies yourself now. Yes life can dish out the crap alright! I was so fortunate during my treatment to just be able to deal with things one at a time. Last year everything seemed to happen at once and I really got lost in the negatives for a while. My hubby is having a better day today. We saw the eye specialist again yesterday and he is now on steriod tablets as well as drops which seem to be helping a lot. Can't keep up with him today!! ?? Hugs to you too. Deanne xxx
Hi and welcome back Deanne, I have missed your posts. When I first joined this group you were one of the first to welcome me, Life can dish us out some crap and it can be difficult to deal with. I was so dissappointed for you when your trip didn't happen but glad that you were not there when the earthquake hit.
I hope your husband is feeling better and life is returning to your new normal.Take care sending you a gentle hug back x
Thanks Tonya. Yes it is frustrating when life does not go to plan. Don't we all know that unfortunately? Sorry to hear you have been unwell, hope you are on the mend. I am doing what I can to help my hubby at the moment. He has an ongoing autoimmune issue which effects his left eye. Some years he has no problems with it at all, but he has had two flare-ups in the last 6 months. Very painful and disruptive to our lives, unfortunately. Life just keeps offering these challenges doesn't it? At least we can help each other cope with the ups and downs on here. Hope you are feeling better soon. Deanne xxx
Ha, ha, long term inmate, I love that! Yes I guess we do need to let the cranky out but then I needed to move past it and get on with life. We all know how precious that is. Deanne xxx
