Forum Discussion
Pre-cancerous changes
On Thursday I had an appointment with a gynaecologist which should have been nothing to worry about. As she commenced her examination though she immediately began questioning me about an area she could see that had some skin changes. While she was quick to reassure me that it was not cancer she did say that it could be pre-cancerous changes. The end result is that I am booked in for a biopsy of the area in a couple of weeks.
I went home telling myself that this was just precautionary and that it was probably nothing bad. Also reasoning that if it is pre-cancerous then it would be easily taken care of at this early stage. I kept myself busy and tried to put it out of my head. I know that it is completely unrelated to my breast cancer so no need to panic in this regard.
I thought I was doing really well with not getting too far ahead of myself until I came home this morning after a lovely walk and yummy breakfast out, to find an invasion of ants in the kitchen. Just felt completely overwhelmed and tears flowed.
Pretty sure that this overreaction is because I have this biopsy thing to get through. Also I have not spoken to anyone except my husband about the biopsy procedure as I do not want everyone getting alarmed at the mention of "cancer" again. No need for everyone to get worried about something that is probably nothing to worry about.
But not talking about it and using logic is ignoring the fact that of course I am worried about it. Just need to talk about it with others who will understand my reactions. Would dearly love to return to the time pre bc when a doctors visit was nothing complicated! :/
I went home telling myself that this was just precautionary and that it was probably nothing bad. Also reasoning that if it is pre-cancerous then it would be easily taken care of at this early stage. I kept myself busy and tried to put it out of my head. I know that it is completely unrelated to my breast cancer so no need to panic in this regard.
I thought I was doing really well with not getting too far ahead of myself until I came home this morning after a lovely walk and yummy breakfast out, to find an invasion of ants in the kitchen. Just felt completely overwhelmed and tears flowed.
Pretty sure that this overreaction is because I have this biopsy thing to get through. Also I have not spoken to anyone except my husband about the biopsy procedure as I do not want everyone getting alarmed at the mention of "cancer" again. No need for everyone to get worried about something that is probably nothing to worry about.
But not talking about it and using logic is ignoring the fact that of course I am worried about it. Just need to talk about it with others who will understand my reactions. Would dearly love to return to the time pre bc when a doctors visit was nothing complicated! :/
29 Replies
- Thank-you Michelle. Biopsy results next Tuesday. Fingers crossed. It will be good to just know, even if I do have to have some treatment. It is the waiting and the unknown that is the hard bit. I am really confident in my doctor, so that is reassuring.
We will be sure to enjoy our break. :) - Hi Deanne,
I hope your tests went well and you only needed minor treatment.
Have a great holiday break with your husband and just enjoy yourselves every minute! xx Michelle - So true, Christine. Yesterday was an awful day here, very windy and cloudy. My mood seemed to match the weather! I hope it was better where you are for your birthday! Today is a new (and beautiful) day and I have thought things through and am feeling calm again. From what I know even if the biopsy shows precancerous cells, the treatment is minor at this point. Probably no need for anyone other than my husband and I to ever know about it.
It really helped to just write it down and then reassure myself that compared to what I have been through this is nothing to worry about at all. I am just glad that I went for a check up and this was spotted as otherwise I would never have known anything was different. It should all be over and done with in a few weeks. No more wasted energy on worrying!
Thank-you to everyone who showed such understanding of my feelings and who shared their positive outcomes of similar situations. Once again I know that support is just a message away on here :) xxx - Morning Deanne - just wanted to come on and say I hope all the positivity that is being sent your way is helping you to focus on yourself and your everyday routine. The medical side of where you are at is in good hands and being taken care of. I agree with your thought process until you know more there is no point putting your family into a worry state, it only saps everyone of energy. Enjoy the fresh air and sunshine and sending you a virtual hug. Take care from Christine xx
- Wow Tracey :)! I am glad that this time, even if it is something, that it is really, really early. Not even real cancer! I am going to be just fine and will get through this little procedure or two and then onwards and upwards again. You are right that when all this began I had that inner reserve that got me through and up those mountains. I think it is just the sheer length of time that you have to keep dealing with everything that stops us from building a new reserve.
A friend of mine has just been through her second very major battle with cancer. She can barely eat due to side effects of radiation to her face. BUT she has set her sites on climbing Mt Kilimanjaro (again, she climbed it earlier this year just before her second diagnosis), next year. After her first run in with cancer she recovered and climbed Everest so I have every faith that she will achieve her goal and more.
Thanks for for the hugs and prayers. xxx - Do you remember the days before bc where you had this inner strength in reserve? Kind of felt like you could cope with anything life threw at you. Well, life did throw the worst at us. We faced our treatments, endured the side effects, and for the lucky ones amongst us, we get a time of peace and enjoyment and a renewed life. But somehow we no longer have that inner reserve that shouts back at the world YOU ARE NOT GOING TO BEAT ME!!!
Deanne, YOU ARE STRONG!!! I've watched you overcome bc, seen you climb mountains and read every day the kindness and compassion that you show to the rest of us. Don't let fear rob you of the joy you have built into your new life. Man! I know that's a big ask, but you deserve so much more. You have faced off against the battle before and come through victorious. Yes you are worried now, but you are also stronger than you ever wanted to be. So IN YOUR FACE pre-cancerous cells, DEANNES GONNA WIN THIS ROUND.
Sending you hugs & prayers Deanne,
Tracey xXx - That's right @melclarity they cannot confirm pre-cancerous cells are the cause of the changes that the doctor could see without a biopsy. That is what I am having in a couple of weeks. Then, if need be, I will have the area treated to prevent them turning cancerous down the track. I know I will be ok but naturally would be happier to not have to go through this. Thanks for the hugs. xxx
- Totally agree that you need to feel that your doctor is treating you with the utmost care and respect @Melhay. What an awful doctor you had the misfortune to be referred to. Hopefully your GP took note for other patients.
I had to see a male gynaecologist last year when I had my ovaries removed as the wait to get into a female gy was 3 months despite my bc diagnosis, sudden heavy bleeding and being on Tamoxifen. I was very nervous of this but fortunately he turned out to be the loveliest man who treated me very respectfully and with the care and reassurance I needed at that time.
When this latest doctor asked me who did my ovary surgery I could not remember his name. As soon as I mentioned that he was just such a nice man she knew straight away who I meant. He must have a great reputation with everyone. I would have been just as happy to see him again but this lady is very good too and not too much of a wait thank goodness.
Take care (hope things are going ok for you) and thank-you for your understanding. xxx - Deanne,
I had irregular cells detected 17years ago when I was pregnant with my 2nd child. At 6 weeks post delivery I had to have a colposcopy, which is where they take a small piece/biopsy to determine it. It came back early stages so I was monitored for a long time, I ended up having to have a cone biopsy done of my Cervix and to see if it had gone into the birth canal. Thankfully it hadn't and eventhough I am monitored yearly still, I have been clear since doing that 16yrs now. I understand your worry absolutely, I am surprised though through examination you would detect any skin changes at all, that cannot be established without a swab or biopsy?? Hard to not get ahead of things, but step at a time,, do what you have to do, knowledge is power and you'll settle when you know what is what!! Big hugs, you'll be ok! Melinda xo - Hi Deanne,
Totally understand the anxiety & worry.
Just after my husband & I decided to start a family (16yrs ago!) & following a routine PAP smear by my GP, I was diagnosed with abnormal cells & was referred to a male Gynecologist.
He was absolutely horrible - was really rough doing the core biopsy & didn't make it clear I was to call for results.
So after 6 weeks of not hearing back I assumed all was good. But then he phoned & demanded to know why I hadn't followed up & angrily announced I needed to come in immediately to fill in forms for a hospital admission to be treated for CIN 3 (high grade pre-cancerous cells in the cervix). The next day I went to my GP & asked for a referral to have someone else do the procedure!
Glad to hear you're seeing a female gynecologist whose is treating you with care, dignity & respect.
Thinking of you & all the best with your treatment & follow ups :)
Mel xx
