Paranoid....

Susan, it's been about 20 months since my diagnosis and although I have a relatively low risk of recurrence (15% chance of secondaries within 10 years I'm told by the oncologist and surgeon), there isn't a day that goes by without me thinking about the cancer coming back and shortening my life.  I think it's natural.  I think it was Sarah Watt that said that we are all doing what nature intends - which is to fear death and fight to survive.  She said it better than me.

I hope to be in a better frame of mind five years from now when I've crossed off a few more milestones in my recovery and feel more confident that I've beaten the sucker.  Susan, this might sound like a platitude, but you've been through a lot.  Give yourself time and don't try to hurry the healing process.  I found it will take it's own jolly good time.

By the way, I've just finished a nipple reconstruction and will go for a tattoo once the redness has subsided.  Also have to have some laser hair removal or similar because, joy of joys, I'm growing peach fuzz on my nipple (due to where the flap was taken from).

take care,

Helen.