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sillysam83's avatar
sillysam83
Member
15 years ago

My Thoughts

Geeee This webiste is so overwhelming and so inspiring all at the same time. Reading some of your stories and experiences have made me very emotional today. Also got me thinking on alot of issues I had and hadnt thought about. 

I know I'm gonna beat this and I know compared to what others have been thru I'm very lucky. But still very traumatic for everyone involved. Thats what I find myself getting upset at the most. Everyone else and how I feel I'm the borden. How unfair that within 4 months from getting married, my husband has to look after me. How he has to sacrifise so much, even though he says his not. How tired he looks because his still working n then has to come home and look after me. 
I know Im his world his everything and how much he loves me. but this just isnt fair.

How I wish we were starting a family not going thru all of this. How I'm scared that were not gonna be able to have kids. Because thats all I've ever wanted. To be a mother.

Then I start thinking about my mother, how strong she is. Everything I know she's been thru and how much she has gotten me thru.. Then to see her break down when I told her I had breast Cancer. What have we done to deserve this?.

These are the 2 most important people in my life. They are my stregnth but I know its so hard for them even if they try their hardest not to show it and support me, coz its all about me. But its hard for them too..... i just wish .... no wishing is the wrong word. I hope they can get from someone what I have today by joining this network. Love, Suppport and some understanding....  

Merylee

9 Replies

  • Anonymous's avatar
    Anonymous
    13 years ago

    Hi Merylee,

    I was at a work education meeting tonight and an IVF nurse was speaking.  She was saying that the success rates for transplanting frozen embryos have increased to such a point that she thinks in that in the not too distant future most women will have frozen cycles.  It certainly sounded encouraging for women in your situation where you have other "things" going on.  

    Take one day at a time- It will be your turn to be a mum soon.

    love and hugs

     

    Carolyn

  • annieb's avatar
    annieb
    Member
    13 years ago

    hang in there! it doesn't seem fair that girls like you have not only got cancer to deal with , but awaiting  having a family as well... having to put your eggs on hold........  take care , and keep smiling !! We are all here for each other! x

     

     

  • annieb's avatar
    annieb
    Member
    13 years ago

    Its lovely and heart wrenching at the same time reading everyone's story.... we are all different, always  there are some going through much tougher times ,but we all have our own little journeys to make.

    I am just beginning my radiotherapy treatment, and yesterday I noticed my breast was sore and a bit swollen. Nurse said not to worry too much,it's normal. Anyone else had any issues like that?

    I have entered City to sea Funrun in Nov11, and i aim to walk 14 ks... hope I can make the distance, cos I get tired really easily!!! I am fundraising for BCNA, so If anyone wants to walk with me or donate go to Annie Benfield's fundraising page !!!!

    That's all for now..... keep strong all of you........ !!!1 xxx

     

  • annieb's avatar
    annieb
    Member
    13 years ago

    Its lovely and heart wrenching at the same time reading everyone's story.... we are all different, always  there are some going through much tougher times ,but we all have our own little journeys to make.

    I am just beginning my radiotherapy treatment, and yesterday I noticed my breast was sore and a bit swollen. Nurse said not to worry too much,it's normal. Anyone else had any issues like that?

    I have entered City to sea Funrun in Nov11, and i aim to walk 14 ks... hope I can make the distance, cos I get tired really easily!!! I am fundraising for BCNA, so If anyone wants to walk with me or donate go to Annie Benfield's fundraising page !!!!

    That's all for now..... keep strong all of you........ !!!1 xxx

     

  • Karen_Hayes's avatar
    Karen_Hayes
    Member
    15 years ago

    Hi Merylee

    Thank you for your story. I brings back so many similar memories for me.

    I had been dating a wonderful man for 3 months when I was diagnosed and even though I gave him the option of walking away he chose not to. Said something about me being "a long term investment".

    So he shared the journey with me which turned out to be a huge learning curve for both of us. It makes starting a new relationship take on a whole new dimension.

    We celebrated our 13th wedding anniversay this week and have reminded ourselves of how blessed we have been that fate brought us together at such a life changing time.

    I wish you and your new husband well on your journey and please know that, through this wonderful website, you and your family have a great deal of support.

    Warm wishes

    Karen Hayes

  • MandaMoo's avatar
    MandaMoo
    Member
    15 years ago

    All of your thoughts are so completely valid - and here is a wonderful place to vent them.  Surround yourself with people who love you and surround yourself with information and ask lots of questions.  It is ok to have fears and to express them and to be worried about your partner.  

    My husband has cried more than me so far - he's always been emotional but its so raw when its about you - it is also what was very confronting for our children to see their Dad so upset.  But we will get through it as you will by working through it together.

  • MandaMoo's avatar
    MandaMoo
    Member
    15 years ago

    All of your thoughts are so completely valid - and here is a wonderful place to vent them.  Surround yourself with people who love you and surround yourself with information and ask lots of questions.  It is ok to have fears and to express them and to be worried about your partner.  

    My husband has cried more than me so far - he's always been emotional but its so raw when its about you - it is also what was very confronting for our children to see their Dad so upset.  But we will get through it as you will by working through it together.

  • Tanya's avatar
    Tanya
    Member
    15 years ago

    Hey Sweets

    My husband is on here and looking at starting a support group for men.  I know it is hard right now, but know that when you get through all the crappy bits you life will be so much better for the experience and I know that that seems so hard to believe now.

    I just read a post that my husband wrote to another guy (no prompting from me) and he wrote that he is amazed at my strength and determination and lots of other soppy stuff that just bought tears to my eyes.  Your husband is gonna look at you like that too and know that any little bumps that other marriages have pale in comparision to what you guys have been through together.  Just know that you will come out the other side stronger and more in love than ever!!

    Take care sweets.  It sux, but it is just a little hiccup and life can and is great the other side of this.

    Perhaps get your hubby to join the boys club here.  Not sure how to post the link.  But his name is Shane.  It can be like they are at the pub or at the footy.

    xx  Tanya

  • Christine_Denni's avatar
    Christine_Denni
    Member
    15 years ago

    Hi Merylee,'It's so good to be able to come on this website and let loose with your thoughts and feelings.  I think you will find most of the people on here feel the same way as you at some stage of there BC. YOu know it night be an idea for your mum and hubby to join this site as well for support and comfort in knowing theyare no alone. My mum joined when I did..see doesnt blog much but she reads everyones blogs and gets so much comfort and info from them.

    I know alot of the younger BC women wanting to start a family or have more children, Get there eggs harvested prior to treatments starting. Might be a something to think about or even ask about on here. I'm not sure how you go about it but i'm sure someone will know.

    Life is not fair. Actually it sucks most of the time but the times it doesnt suck seem to overpower the sucky times. Breast Cancer is one of those "BUGGER" moments in life but we all seem to manage and cope somehow with a lot  of help from our friends, family and spouses. In private we all seem to be a pile of jelly but our public face we are strong and positive about beating this horrible thing forced on us.

    In the MY JOURNEY KIT there is a DVD for husbands on how to help you and how to stay sane. My hubby thought it was very good. Do you have a Mcgrath Beast care Nurse in your area. She is a great source of knowledge and can put you in contact with groups etc for you and your hubby, mum etc.

    Well I really hope you are feeling a bit better after blogging. Take care and stay in touch.

    Gentle hugs

    Chrissy D ::) xox