Thanks and yes you are right wham bam next you are in surgery then home then treatment and back to work, I always knew I hadn't dealt with everything that had happened to me and as they say it will catch you week later or years later, it got me a few months ago had a week off work lucky I have a fantastic manager which took the pressure of me , still think I have a bit more to come out. Just realised I had cancer, breast cancer was different wasn't it? In my mind anyway cancers cancer and it slaps you in the face when you start to come to terms with it. I have had guilt due to having an early detection of my cancer and had radiation and five nodes removed and all these women who have full breast mastectomies, chemo, etc and little old me I don't know where I fit in my story is very different,I have a great bc nurse who I talk to and got my mind set a bit better and I have fantastic friends and partner