Hi Nellie, What can I say Nellie, It sounds like you have hit the wall. We all keep our happy faces on because we dont want to upset anyone but somedays its just too hard.Its good to have a rant and do a bit of venting. The ladies on here have all been through it at some point and are so supportive to each other. Sometimes family members just dont get it even though they are trying hard to understand.I would suggest you go and see your doctor who can refer you on to a counsellor. Or maybe your breast care nurse can help you get some help.This journey you are on is not a simple a to b trip, it goes on and on and on and you just need some TLC to get you to your next resting point. We are all thinking of you, Annie