Forum Discussion
Mini Meltdown
I just wanted to tell you all a little story. I was out doing some much needed Christmas shopping today. Yes it's 40 degrees here in Melbourne today and I decide to shop. What an idiot!!!!! But I have been unwell and unmotivated to shop this last week because of this damn annoying cold. I think it's okay and then it seems to freshen up again and I'm sore from coughing and my nose is crusty. Arhhhhh, you know the deal with colds. But back to shopping. I had picked up some presents and I was tired and my feet hurt so I sat down to lunch. Bought a bottle of water because stupid me left my bottle in my hot car. This all sounds innocent enough doesn't it. Well I thought I'd better have some water as I had not hydrated enough today of all days. But try as I might I couldn't get the top off the bottle. I sat there trying for a good five minutes then I got really emotional and couldn't stop myself from crying. I had to retreat into the ladies to calm myself down. Talk about melt down. Over a water bottle. Is this silly or what?
Ladies those of you who are just starting on this journey take heart. It's okay to have a meltdown every now and again. It's all part of the process and I am not beating myself up about it but I just wish I wasn't in the middle of a crowded food hall at a major shopping centre LOL
How embarrassing!
38 Replies
- Oh Janey, I so feel your trauma!! Here I was rambling about my sons birthday and here you were having a shocker of a day. Thank you for sharing. So many of us identify. I love Paula and her sisters story, very funny. I am yet to do the go natural look. My hair is growing but I have alopecia so I look like one of the three stooges and yes it is grey!! I only just started going bald around my kids - the heat was just too much yesterday. You are very brave Janey and I take my hat off to you (I mean my wig haha). Gotta laugh cos otherwise we cry. Luv and cyber bugs xx Lisa
- Yes Paula, you reminded me, I went through a bikie butch skin head phase....and suddenly people stop helping you with your heavy shopping bags! Sounds funny but definitely an adjustment. Xx
I'm up at 3am reading your post. I sort of look up to you on this site, bit corny, hey? You know what I mean. I'm sorry you had a meltdown, and that you can laugh now about it, but boy, it made me feel more normal:) I'm starting to stress about my xmas shopping, but it's my vulnerable week and shopping centres are a no go zone. Last couple of days I have been treading water with my emotions, on the brink of crying all the time. I enjoyed your poem the other day, it gives me solace. Wishing you a wonderful xmas and a great new year Janey, hugs to you,
Hazel xx
I'm up at 3am reading your post. I sort of look up to you on this site, bit corny, hey? You know what I mean. I'm sorry you had a meltdown, and that you can laugh now about it, but boy, it made me feel more normal:) I'm starting to stress about my xmas shopping, but it's my vulnerable week and shopping centres are a no go zone. Last couple of days I have been treading water with my emotions, on the brink of crying all the time. I enjoyed your poem the other day, it gives me solace. Wishing you a wonderful xmas and a great new year Janey, hugs to you,
Hazel xx
- No problem Janey:) I hope you have a truly beautiful Christmas,and thanks for always being here with advice,just when it's needed.xoxoxRobyn
Oh Janey
It is so great to read your blogs! You make me feel "normal"with all that is going on!
"Roller coaster" is defo the best description I reckon.....I guess if it wasn't the stupid water bottle lid it might have been some other trivial trigger!
Uuggghhh....the stares! How annoying! I find myself looking in window reflections to see if people are staring at my scarf.....noting my cancer! So what, says my husband! So crazy....but that's what this is hey?
Shower is always a great place to cry.....feel like I still have to remain semi-controlled for my children! But I think they are realizing I am human, not the supermum they imagined!
Have a wonderful Xmas Janey...you have come so far since 20/12/12! And so inspirational to us......xxx
- Yes we are all a little fragile and I do think it's the time of year for me. Tomorrow is the 1 year anniversary of my diagnoses and last year's Christmas was a wipeout. I do so want this Christmas to be nice and 'normal' for my family. I'm sure I'm getting a little stressed about that. Well it has to be better than last year that's for sure :) Love Janey xxx
- Yes you're right. I felt quite good after a while going out in my scarves. I even got the occasional compliment on the way I twisted them and I eventually ignored the stares. So I will have to learn again to feel good about how I look. It's just not the way I want to look right now. I am thinking I will probably have my hair dyed again. Not ready to be grey yet :) Janey xxx
- Yes it does take a while to adjust to being out with the obvious "Hey look at me, I've got cancer" scarf/hat on. People do stare, they can't help it I guess. I had a moment the other day when I caught the eye of a lady with a scarf and we kind of nodded and smiled. We understood. You do get used to it Robyn or perhaps it's just that you learn to live with it. The next thing you know is it'll be your turn to take your scarf off which was a bit frightening for me but I did it and I know it will be easier every time I'm out there. It also means that you are closer to the end of your journey which is great! I tell you what, if I promise to not beat myself up about it, then you'll have to promise too :) Love Janey xxx
Yep,it's usually the little things that trigger a mini meltdown.The hard thing is not being able to predict your emotions.You think you're ok and confident with whatever is on your head but it doesn't take much to rattle you.Well done Janey getting to the ladies toilet and not having to line up! I would keep sunglasses and a hankie in my handbag at all times.The hankie would help open the bottle top and if not,then help mop up the tears.Thanks for sharing Janey as it reminds us that we're not crazy but rather vulnerable with our emotions a little fragile from time to time.Ofcourse hot weather doesn't help either. Stay in the air con and have a nice Christmas. love,Tonya xx
