LOSER

I too believe in healing. The book you mention is very wise and sits beside my bed. Death is a part of life as I tell my children, it happens to all of us. It's not death that I see as failure - it is being unable to control and manage the disease. I could die any number of ways, I just have forward warning. I've tried to embrace that and I live my life fully every day (with ups and downs). I've tried to see an upside to cancer and no I don't see it as a gifts- I reckon I lived pretty fully and happily before my diagnosis. I have probably become much more mindful though. Perhaps one of the ways I deal with the fear is to write - its a public forum and can be interpreted in many ways by people who do not know me. That's ok. I learn from the responses, I learn about me too. Thank you and I think I will pull Rachel's book out for a little read today. Another book I've found incredibly healing is Anita Morjani's Dying to Be Me - her story is amazing but her message if living life fearlessly is compelling. A x