I need to stay happy and polite

Hi Natalie

I also didn't get much support from my husband and kids. They have been more supportive now than what they were the whole 16 months of treatment. Fortunately my brother and a couple of girlfriends stepped up and were my rocks. The thing is, they didn't know what to do, say or how to feel. They were all scared.  None of them were coping and they all dealt with things differently. I remember one day during chemo yelling at my husband "do I have to be dead before you will help me?" I was advised to just look after myself and do what I needed to get through. I had to put myself first. It created a lot of anger and resentment on all sides and we are still dealing with the fall out 5 months after treatment ended. One day after a bit of argy bargy, hubby and I actually started talking about it (something we hadn't done at all to that point). Hubby thought he was helping and being supportive. He didn't realise that it wasn't enough and I needed more help. He cooked a couple of times a week and did a couple of loads of washing but the rest was left for me to do. He wasn't giving me the emotional support I needed either but he so just wanted things back to normal. It is so damn hard. Definitely talk to the doctors and nurses. Find someone who does support you and surround yourself with that support. It is only now that I'm realising the toll that bc has taken on not only me but everyone close to me. 

I hope things settle down soon and that you are able to get some support from another source, if not from them. Keep talking on here. Sometimes all you need is to verbalise how you feel to start feeling better. Good luck. Karen xox