I hate having cancer!

I hate having cancer too... :( 

I hate that I was sooooo happy and should be enjoying my honeymoon period (as only getting married 4 months before diagnose) but instead we've been hit with this bombshell... 

I hate that I havent worked a full week all year... I hate being 28 and doctors and nurses mistake my mother who is 62 as the patient when we go to appointments together... I hate that hospital visits just seem to be part of our lives now.... I hate that I'm always tired.... I hate that I brought a brand new car (holden barina spark) 1 month before I got diagnosed and spent most of this year not being able to drive it as its a manual and its so uncomftable and a constent reminder every time I do drive it.... I hate my 'new' boob (but havent finished my reconstruction yet)... I hate that this has taken a whole year out of my life.... I hate that I have no proof the cancer hasnt spread and theres this 'what if' sign hanging up in my mind... I hate that I'm scared we cant have kids, & if we do, they might get this disease too... I hate that my memory isnt perfect like it use to be... I hate that all I can talk about is Breast Cancer.... I hate crying over nothing.... I hate that I have to rely so much on my parents and husband & can tell they are tired & should be relaxing or having 'their' time... I hate that some family and friends just dont seem to care or ask how I am.... I hate that so many people get diagnosed & hate that more and more people join this site everyday.... I hate that so many people airnt even educated about Breast Cancer & alot of people are too shy to go to the doctor when they do feel something strange.... I hate that I cant get back into routine... I hate that I have to live with this for the rest of my life.... I hate that I feel guilty for not having Chemo and still find things to complain about everyday... I hate that I'm depressed & hate that there are so many things I hate... lol.... 

But I am also very happy for this website & very happy for all the love and support I have that makes all the things I hate a little better... lol...