Hi Joey
Have just read your post with tears streaming down my face...
Yesterday I was having a real " poor me" day. I went online to feel better as I always do.... I too felt dreadful guilt as I read posts about treatment finishing and wished that that was me... I text my friend saying " she's finished her treatment... I want that to be me." I felt very jealous and selfish.
I broke down in a heap last night, crying and telling my 21 year old daughter that I couldn't do it anymore... She held my hand and said "mum, you have to."
More guilt followed... How could I put that on my daughter...
As I went to sleep last night I promised myself today would be a better day... I'm trying hard to be thankful that last Friday was my final cycle of my challenging AC chemo, even if I still have 12 weekly taxols to go. 4/16 down means I'm a quarter of the way through. The quicker I start radiation the quicker life gets back to normal.
Joey we are all walking the same challenging bc journey. Our journeys may take a different path but it is so important that we support each other and talk about our feelings.
Your post has helped me enormously today when I was really struggling to stay positive. Now I know what I feel is normal.
Thanks
Mel xxx