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melp27's avatar
melp27
Member
14 years ago

Greatful!

Hi all,

It's now 11 days after the end of radiation. I have been reading a bit on here and I'm so greatful this website is here. Nearly constantly I keep getting told even though I'm at the end of active treatment "omg you are so brave/strong!" whenever I see anyone who knows what I'm going through.

I smile and nod but I am getting somewhat tired of it. As was posted in another blog I'm just trying to put one foot in front of the other as each day comes. When I look at my radiation burns in the mirror or see myself in the shower I certainly don't feel like the strong and confident person they all think I am. I haven't cried for a few weeks which is good but the mental issues certainly don't go away at the end of treatment I can tell you.

I am looking into seeing a Counsellor about these issues so when I find a good one maybe my mind will feel a bit lighter.

I hope everyone is well xx

  • Joy_K's avatar
    Joy_K
    Member
    14 years ago

    Hi Mel

    You'll come to realise that the diagnosis of breast cancer has changed something fundamental in you, you have become stronger and other people are picking up on this, even if you don't yet believe it yourself.

    I was one of the lucky ones (or unlucky, depending how you look at it) who looked extremely well right through neo-adjuvent chemotherapy, mastectomy, radiation and then more radiation for developing skin metastases. People always said "Gee, you're looking great," only I knew how I really felt.

    As I have lived with Stage 4 Breast Cancer from the initial diagnosis it is still the same regarding the comments but, like Leonie, I now say "Yes, I'm feeling great, but my test results are going backwards," or something like that.

    So I'll continue to reply politely to all those comments that are meant to make me feel better and continue to imagine the look on the "checkout chick's" face if I replied honestly to her inane query "Are you having a great day?"

    ( It could go something like this, "No actually, I've just had a fight with my Superannuation company regarding an early payout, I can't easily get travel insurance for my trip to the Arctic Circle, I've just completed my continuing care plans and lodged them with my treatment team and if this new, expensive, non-PBS treatment doesn't work I'm back on chemotherapy!) 

    So, maintain your new stronger self and seek help to keep you strong. Ask for a referral to a counsellor who specialises in cancer patients, often available through your local public hospital.

    With love

    Joy K