Good news from oncologist
i saw my oncologist on Wednesday and expected to hear bad news, so had a huge list of questions to ask. I felt so nervous for a few weeks before I phoned I moved my blood tests and appointment
forward by a week after speaking with my GP.
My hubbie came with me as I wanted to be prepared for the news unlike the two major appointments before. Breastscreen diagnosis of invasive ductal carcinoma then after surgery feeling confident cancer would be contained in the one tumour, only to find out it as in one lymph node and changing cells in another. Both times I was feeling positive (overly in retrospect) so this time I was in my armour ready for the assault.
But, to my sheer amazement oncologist delivered to totally unexpected results that my blood tests and all results were positively as good as they could be saying the surgery, treatments had and were working.
so CANCER IS JUST A WORD sometimes, NOT a Sentence always.
Sutting in the room hearing the words, I had nothing! Nothing to say. Nothing to ask! Nothing. Dumbfounded I think. It was the same shock, surreal, numb feeling I'd had those previous two times BUT this was fantastic news.
I questioned myself for the rest of the day why I wasn't ecstatic- why wasn't I "over the moon" but I wasn't. I felt flat when I should have been jumping through hoops, dancing, singing... I'm wondering now if that, like the anxiousness before the 6month results is normal?
I had two glasses of my favourite sparkling Asti Ricadonna over lunch at home and text family & friends the good news. Posted gr8 news on Facebook and sat bewildered for the rest of the day contemplating what now lay ahead as it seemed I would be able to live healthily (cancer free) for a while yet so the other plans and thoughts of moving, downsizing, doing my bucket list quickly were not urgent.
Amazing how differently I feel on this side of this journey so far than I did one week ago.
The whole time I've been living with this breast cancer I have not been able to connect with it - not the tumour or the nodes and I wirriedwhy that was as I'd previously been able to connect to the damaged parts of my body to heal. Maybe it was because after surgery then the radiation the cancer really was gone. There was NOTHING to connect to.
Ill be staying in this wonderful online forum as breast cancer is like being alcoholic or addict - it never leaves you, you need to be aware of any symptoms or crises that may cause it to reappear. Int he meantime live life more healthily, physically, mentally and spiritually to make the most of every day of the rest of our life.
Breastsurgeon appointment tomorrow but not expecting anything negative there. Onward and upward from here.
Thanks for all the support here and I hope my news give you all positive reinforcement that there is always hope.
forward by a week after speaking with my GP.
My hubbie came with me as I wanted to be prepared for the news unlike the two major appointments before. Breastscreen diagnosis of invasive ductal carcinoma then after surgery feeling confident cancer would be contained in the one tumour, only to find out it as in one lymph node and changing cells in another. Both times I was feeling positive (overly in retrospect) so this time I was in my armour ready for the assault.
But, to my sheer amazement oncologist delivered to totally unexpected results that my blood tests and all results were positively as good as they could be saying the surgery, treatments had and were working.
so CANCER IS JUST A WORD sometimes, NOT a Sentence always.
Sutting in the room hearing the words, I had nothing! Nothing to say. Nothing to ask! Nothing. Dumbfounded I think. It was the same shock, surreal, numb feeling I'd had those previous two times BUT this was fantastic news.
I questioned myself for the rest of the day why I wasn't ecstatic- why wasn't I "over the moon" but I wasn't. I felt flat when I should have been jumping through hoops, dancing, singing... I'm wondering now if that, like the anxiousness before the 6month results is normal?
I had two glasses of my favourite sparkling Asti Ricadonna over lunch at home and text family & friends the good news. Posted gr8 news on Facebook and sat bewildered for the rest of the day contemplating what now lay ahead as it seemed I would be able to live healthily (cancer free) for a while yet so the other plans and thoughts of moving, downsizing, doing my bucket list quickly were not urgent.
Amazing how differently I feel on this side of this journey so far than I did one week ago.
The whole time I've been living with this breast cancer I have not been able to connect with it - not the tumour or the nodes and I wirriedwhy that was as I'd previously been able to connect to the damaged parts of my body to heal. Maybe it was because after surgery then the radiation the cancer really was gone. There was NOTHING to connect to.
Ill be staying in this wonderful online forum as breast cancer is like being alcoholic or addict - it never leaves you, you need to be aware of any symptoms or crises that may cause it to reappear. Int he meantime live life more healthily, physically, mentally and spiritually to make the most of every day of the rest of our life.
Breastsurgeon appointment tomorrow but not expecting anything negative there. Onward and upward from here.
Thanks for all the support here and I hope my news give you all positive reinforcement that there is always hope.
