Forum Discussion

kel016's avatar
kel016
Member
14 years ago

First and last

hi all u lovely lady's:) well I'm in my 30 's and have finish my op,chemo and radio . I got on this site as a thought it would be helpful with my decision about having a reconstruction using the lat dorsi method. but I found myself wondering through the different blogs and I came across a women who had had bad news and secondaries . Since then that's all I can think about. I have suffered with mild anxiety since this all started and as much as I try , I can't seem to move past it.although my outlook is very promising I feel like my security blanket has been pulled out from under me and I can't find a way of getting it back. If I was to be honest, I think the thing that scares me the most is that I don't want my family to watch me suffer and die a death by cancer. So I'm guessing it's hello and goodbye , as reading the post from these amazing lady's is no good for me. I wish it would inspire me but instead it paralyses me with fear. take care of yourselves and god bless you all .xxx

4 Replies

  • kel016's avatar
    kel016
    Member
    14 years ago
    Just wanted to say you were right with this site. I don't go through the different blogs that upset me and I have had some great advice from other lady's in the same position as me. Xx
  • pisces_tas's avatar
    pisces_tas
    Member
    14 years ago

    FEAR can be paralysing, yes. At least you recognize it, feeling it is ok too. Learning to LET IT GO  too is a skill.  What will be, will be.

     BC is a SCARY journey for everyone; those on it and loved ones also.

    Take it day by day, is all we can do; BC taught me that. I agree with the other comments on here; maybe a Young Womens branch of this site might be helpful at some stage.

    Get all information, make a decision and then HOPE all goes ok.

    It is ok to ask for HELP; listen to your body and if you need help from your family  in future, I am sure they would be there.

    Those living with ABC ( advanced beast cancer ) can live many years and live fullfilling lives. The main word is LIVING.

    We cannot always control the future, the past is over; we only have the present.

    If you have a lot of ANXIETY, that is affecting you more than normal, then perhaps speak to your BC nurse or doctor. Talking to a pyschologist or psychiatrist may help also. There are things that can help. It is ok to be SCARED.

    I found that TIME also helps, as you get on with a " NEW " life. The statistics show that treatments have made a big difference in long term outcomes, so take strength from that.

    All the best,  Kathy.

     

  • Leonie_Moore's avatar
    Leonie_Moore
    Member
    14 years ago

    I too am sorry that you have "been scared" by this site.  I am an Online Champion and it is my responsibility, along with others, to welcome all new users to the site.  I check the site a couple of times a day and have never seen a blog that was negative or unsupportive.  Did you find it by doing a specific search of a topic? I have had two diagnosis of bc.  My first in Oct 2006 and the seond in December 2010. During last year, whilst completing treatment, this site was my savour as I could "compare notes" with others and know that I was not alone and also assured that the side effects that I was experiencing were "normal".  I could also offer support to others by telling "my story" through my own experiences.  I have never ever had this kind of positive supportive network of amazing women.  Yes BC is horrific and only those who have been there know of the horror.  I am truly sorry that you have not been able to gain the love and support from our "Pink Sister" site.  It does take a lot of courage to get through bc and anyone who has had chemo is in the "very brave" category.  As Chris says there is group for Young Womens group on this site.  I always used to feel so sad for young women who were diagnosed with bc until I had a realisation. I knew that my own bc experience "woke me up" to "know the real meaning of life"  at age 50.  Then I realised that the the young ones had a chance to "know the real meaning of life" at an earlier age!!!!  One thing I can say is that there is always a positive that comes from an negative.  My positive is that my life has been so enriched by the wonderful women and men that I have encountered on this bc journey. I hope that this "old chook" has given you some hope that may alleviate some of your anxiety.  I now enjoy every minute and "don't cut the small stuff". XLeonie

  • Chris's avatar
    Chris
    Member
    14 years ago
    Hi Kel, I'm so sorry that you have found this site distressing. I have been a bit addicted to this site for about 8 months now, and have found it a very useful tool in helping me to decide on what sort of reconstruction to have. I don't think I have come across the one that has scared you so much. I have just successfully completed a delayed and immediate reconstruction using tissue expanders and silicone implants. I had my first matectomy in December 2010, followed by chemo and then a precautionary mastectomy with the insertion of bilateral tissue expanders in September last, and on last Wednesday I had the silicone implanted. I have found that there is usually someone on this site who has been there and done that first. Please give it another go, as it is unfortunate if we have only managed to scare you and not support you. There is a young womens arm of this site that might suit you better. I wish you all the best with your reconstruction. Love Chris xx