Laura,
I was/am in exactly the same boat as you. same diagnosis and with a 10 month old and was 3/4 weeks pregnant when i found out i had cancer.
The decision making is very challenging and i find that my brain is not as astute and my energy levels not as good from i think the sheer volume of life changing events that have been thrust upon me in such a short space of time. I too started to warm to my growing embryo inside me. I wondered what my mind was doing to me playing mental games when i knew my own health was far more detrimental and survival for my 10month old baby had to be my focus above anything. This got me through, i knew i had to see the unborn as a cell and not a baby or anything more. (sorry if this sounds insensitive) and again all these new things do create massive morality issues for us, what is natural what is not natural including IVF. something i started 3 days ago.
My main worry at present is just getting through chemo, to have the energy to be with my baby, I've noticed changes in her temperament and her behaviour and it worries me already. I just want to be in the present for her. I almost feel greedy going through IVF as though nature hasn't intended this and i should accept it, but its an option there for me and i don't know how i will feel in 2-3 years time so I'm taking it. I couldn't bring myself to close the door as we too had wanted a brother/sister for baby. Ive been worried sick as my cancer is hormone related and i feel i have been `processed` through so many specialists in such a short space of time. We had a weekend to decide if IVF was for us. How can anyone make a decision! especially after having just aborted one child the friday before the weekend. My concern was my body, what is this all doing to my body. The research is very grey and there are minimal research results from women in our situation to say either way, but like you I've followed the specialists advice and my oncologist said she wouldn't have referred me to the clinic if she didn't feel it was possible. But its hard to get a grip isn't it with all the medical gumpf! Its day three of my injections and i still wonder if I'm doing the right thing and every evening i just say ok lets just keep rolling. Im not bothered by the injections themselves its not really fully understanding what its doing with my hormones that makes me wonder. The oncologist says chemo will zap anything inside me so its nothing to worry about. I keep thinking i don't want this to be bitter sweet that i end up with a successful baby then start to worry about it bringing back cancer through second pregnancy. Thats another challenge for 2-3 years down the line. but again that is going to be a major decision. not one i really want to make i don't think either. Its so hard. Let me low what your thoughts are and what you choose to do. My breast care nurse said 50% women choose it and 50% don't. its totally personal. How old are you by the way? Is it insensitive for me to ask what you think contributed to your cancer? i know everyone has their own theories in their head, but i recon mine was stress, but maybe i attribute it to that as i had a lot of stress in my life in the last few years. Ironically some say IVF causes it due to the injection of hormones. But that could be a demographic thing too.
Look forward to hearing from you
Katie
