Oh Michelle, just because you're fed up and have had enough doesn't mean you are a sook. Take a read back about what you are currently dealing with and each one of those matters on their own are daunting, let alone when you're dealing with issues already which are a result of treatment. Thank goodness you have come on here to get a bit of support because we do understand and it doesn't mean you are weak, and it doesn't mean you're not coping. It just means that you wish you didn't have to deal with this CRAP!!! You may think that you are hiding not coping but I think you are actually hiding your inner strength and not acknowledging it yourself. Everyone else sees it. The fact that you are saying you know it will get better - That is strength! Looking to when it gets better, awesome. Big hugs lovely. Xx Cath