@Michelle W
what a rough roller coaster you are on girl...
I know that my emotions were all over the place after my Bilateral Salpingo - Oophorectomy and Hysterectomy back in 2004 this was prior to my Cancer Diagnosis in 2012. Be gentle on yourself...
You have a right to want it to end.
I would suggest trying to do some relaxation meditation to help as you sure have a lot going on...
I am four years out from diagnosis and I have good and bad days....
hopefully the payroll gets sorted quickly for you as you sure dont need an extra stressors.
I hope that next week you have a good consultation and know the plan ahead and that you can settle into the plan and that it goes as smooth as it can for you ..
Hugs and energy
Alice xoxox