Feeling jittery

Hi Jenny,  It is a shocking feeling when all the doctors are pushing you this way and that and you just go with it because they are the professionals and what they say goes.  I found I couldn't actually speak to anyone without breaking down into tears when I was first diagnosed, and if anyone mentioned my kids, well the conversation was gone. 

At the start I sat at the computer and typed everything I was feeling, how everyone else made me feel, things the doctors may have said, etc.  This really helped calm me down not totally but quite a bit.  I could say anything I wanted when I was on the computer and it didn't hurt anyones feelings or cause any problems for anyone.  When I was finished I saved it on a drive and put it aside till the next time.

I was diagnosed advanced 5 1/2 years ago.  Secondary in  my sacrum. 3/7 of my lymph nodes were affected.  I still live a very active life.  I still work, I still do karate and tai chi and I play taxi driver to my 3 girls about 5 times a week at least.

I can only tell you that the nerves will calm down eventually, but it will take time.  Once things start to settle down a bit and you are onto treatment, etc, you will feel a bit more in control.  It is all about the unknown at the moment and that is scary.

I had new cancer found in my chest just before xmas.  I had my first chemo ever on 22/12/2010.  The whole thought of that was so scary.  I came home from my oncologists appointment and got straight onto this site and asked everything I wanted to know.  It was amazing how quickly people responded and informed me about their experiences.  You can't beat experience.  I will be having my 6th chemo Thursday of next week.  All up I will probably be having 8 so there will be another 2 after that.  It is a strange feeling about having it.  I was always so terrified of just the word and now, I find that I feel strong when I have it and each one is an achievement.

I just want to wish you all the best.  Take care and if you ever feel like a chat, just log on and you will find someone ready with an answer.  All the best.

Tracey