Fed up!

Hi Josie,  My thoughts are with you.  We all do find strength - God only knows where from?  I found it really hard being away from home for 6 weeks for radiation (8 hours by car ).  I used to cry every day travelling the 30minutes from my sister's through traffic on my own but I also thought how wonderful I was doing the city traffic driving.  The bonus was that I could see my two little grandchildren most days.  Now that I am home and on chemo I miss them terribly.  You have every right to be sad, angry etc etc.   Let it out girl!!!  This is a b....... of a journey but it is also a very loving ride if you take a minute to look around.  I have met some amazing people on my journey and continue to marvel at their feats.  When I am in my bad days after chemo, I just go with the flow - do nothing, eat and drink what I can and just survive.  Then when I come out of the "prison" I am so overjoyed to feel well and try to be as normal as I can and do what I can and what I want to.   Tell you a funny story, I went out shopping today in my headgear of scarfs etc.  I always try to look as best as I can when I leave the house so off I went.  I just happened to look up at my reflection in a shop window and thought "Gee I'd better get home quick before someone recognises me" - I didn't even look like the old me but I am surviving until the old me comes back.  Hang in there XLeonie