Eve of yearly follow up tests; anxious AF; update in general

I've taken to buying ice cream I don't like. Yeah, it's an avoidance tactic because I can't bring myself to have none in the house. Just in case. The current inedible delight is Aldi triple mud cake. It is disgusting--all gritty and full of chunks of something I hope is white chocolate but which could be toenails. That doesn't stop me pulling it out of the freezer and having a go, but it stops me guzzling to whole tub.