Drowning in anxiety and fear

Hi ladies, Thought id do an update as you have all been so great and I turkey feel that the feedback and encouragement has made a world of difference to me and my journey! Today is day 13 since my diagnosis and day 7 from surgery, I had all my lymph nodes removed from under my left arm and a significant amount of my left breast. I have a follow up appointment with my surgeon on Monday to get the results and find out the next step, hopefully the margined are clear and no more surgery is needed as I am still in pain although I think that is more to do with the lymph node removal than the breast lump. The tube is still in which is gross but hopefully it can come out tomorrow, fingers crossed. I'm able psychologically to do the 'one step at a time' approach finally that that next step is what type of chemo and for how long. The anxiety attacks have stopped but the fear has not gone away. I guess I am living with it a little bit better now and able to find more time in the days where I am not thinking about the 'what ifs'. This I take as a good thing, as everyone said it gets easier. I have gad great support from family and friends as well as strangers from this site. Each so important to me and invaluable to my mental health! Unfortunately this is our own individual journey and it takes it's tole on our very basic psychological need of safety, life itself felt as though it was ripped from me but as I travel down this road and process the information given, I have begun to find my our feet and take what control i can thus making me less anxious and more positive. (Yes exactly what you all told me would happen! Lol) A woman I know who is on the "other side" names us as 'gutsy thrivers' not survivors. I think I really like that, I picture myself in 12 months to be a different woman with a better view of life and what is important. I think I have already begun that transformation. I am strong and i will be stronger. Thank you all so much for your support. I'm sure in the coming months I will need it again but for now I wish you all ongoing peace, strength and happiness. Anita