Drowning in anxiety and fear

So sorry to hear of your diagnosis. I too had a close friend who pass away a year after her diagnosis 3 years ago. That was my first encounter of a person I know (apart from my grandma who also likely had breast cancer but I was too little to understand then).  So I can somewhat understand your association with that. But I have since realised that each case is different and outcomes are different.

I too was scared and frighten when I was first diagnosed end of last November. I was incapacitated and could not do anything. Fortunately my husband is there for me, making drs appointments, taking calls, cooking, washing and also ordering the 'my journey kit'. I had to learn to take one day at a time (advice given to me by the ladies here) and not to think too far ahead. Not easy but it did really help me in those days. I did not settle down until my chemo started. I also got some meditation cd from cancer council which helped me a little.

Hope was what I looked for too. I shall always be grateful to my friend from overseas who wrote to me with hopeful stories of people we know.

I find that the drs don't like to say anything (eg early or not)  until they  get the results from the tests and scans. I don't think they are hiding anything. These are hard weeks but try to take a day at a time and not to think too far ahead.

Do take care and come back here for support.

C xx