Forum Discussion
Do I or don’t I ?
I am 66 yes old - 3 years post lumpectomy and radiation
Each review I’ve had means painful mammograms ( due to dense breasts) and ultra sounds - finishing off with a mammogram biopsy - yes at every review !
Each review I’ve had means painful mammograms ( due to dense breasts) and ultra sounds - finishing off with a mammogram biopsy - yes at every review !
I’ve just had my third year review with the inevitable biopsy - results came back today as negative
So here I am - emotionally spent - if it was just the mammogram and u/s then I could deal with that but it’s the lonely humiliating experience of the mammogram biopsy and the wait for results - I can’t explain to anyone who has not experienced the impact of a cancer diagnosis - then treatment and the emotion that you go through during the reviews
I want to focus on life not think every time there is pain - my mind starts thinking and while I can bring my mind into the now - this is taking it’s toll
i want to have a mastectomy - I need to do something positive - take control of this monster and be boss of it - not it of me
My daughter is also on this journey - I know what to expect - I don’t need or want reconstruction - I want peace
My husband thinks I’m nuts going down this road - how else do I find this peace ?
So here I am - emotionally spent - if it was just the mammogram and u/s then I could deal with that but it’s the lonely humiliating experience of the mammogram biopsy and the wait for results - I can’t explain to anyone who has not experienced the impact of a cancer diagnosis - then treatment and the emotion that you go through during the reviews
I want to focus on life not think every time there is pain - my mind starts thinking and while I can bring my mind into the now - this is taking it’s toll
i want to have a mastectomy - I need to do something positive - take control of this monster and be boss of it - not it of me
My daughter is also on this journey - I know what to expect - I don’t need or want reconstruction - I want peace
My husband thinks I’m nuts going down this road - how else do I find this peace ?
24 Replies
- hi @"Grandma of 7",
It’s such a difficult decision. On one hand you don’t want to put your hand up for major surgery but then the yearly mammos stress you out. I get it.I’m 65 and wonder how much older I can be before such surgery is a worry.
I had a lumpectomy and radiation back in 2003 and 7 yrs later cancer came back in the same spot so HAD to have a mastectomy. That was 11yrs ago. I’m fed up with being lopsided- it has it’s issues but because of radiation I’d be limited with recon. The other option is to take the other breast off.I keep stalling cos it’s big surgery. I now wish I’d had both breasts off 11yrs ago- hindsight hey.Good luck with your decisions- they are all awful! - All the very best @"Grandma of 7" xx P.
- Hi, I was diagnosed at 38 and had a single mastectomy - which I immediately knew I wanted. I chose to keep the other one though as I had a lot going on at the time (my father was dying of cancer, my boss of 6 years at work - who was also a big support system for me - left the company) and I wasn’t sure what to decide re the other one.
However, 3 years on and I still want to get the other one done. I will most likely get it done but keep putting it off for various reasons. My surgeon has told me that if I decide to proceed with having the other one removed that I should give her a call when I’m ready.Each year when it comes time for my mammogram and ultrasound I keep saying to myself that I will get the other one removed as it’s so stressful getting these tests done each year - and sometimes a biopsy.
I completely understand where you’re coming from. You need to do what feels right for you.
I wish you the best of luck with your surgery xo - Hey @"Grandma of 7" there is your inner voice--which can be terribly noisy and difficult to listen to--but there is also the outer voice. What would you say to someone who valued your opinion if they were in the same situation?
If you can't trust a totally disposable fat sack because you think it could kill you, why would you not get rid of it?
Yeah, it's a big thing. It really is. Mxx - This is a very valid concern and very valid post about it. It’s a hard decision, but if you feel right about it, then you should do it. Peace of mind and being stress free is more important than anything else. It’s not about what others think and whether it’s silly. It’s about your body, and your physical and mental health, so there’s nothing silly about it. Good luck with it all 🍀♥️
- Hi there, I really believe it is critical to listen to your own inner voice and follow your gut feeling no matter what anyone thinks. You know yourself better than anyone and understand your own emotions and needs. Do what is the best for you. Good luck with your decision
- Thank you Patricia and Sister - you have no idea how your honest words have supported me - I’ve always been the strong one - the fixer of issues - I can’t fix this .... but your words have buoyed me and given me support - I’m not alone and I’ve had responses from strong women who understand exactly what I’m going through - no judgements and for that I’m ever so grateful to all of you for taking a moment to respond - thank you 💝
I’m going ahead with the surgery - I’m at peace with my decision - In the end it has to be your decision. I ended up with a mastectomy anyway but my question at the time was whether I should have both taken. The answer then was that it wasn't needed. Twelve months later my surgeon said that if I was really struggling with the anxiety, he was happy to take the other. I haven't done it but know that I have that option without having to fight for it. If it is what you feel you need to do and your surgeon won't consider it, best to find someone else.
By the way, do you have a 3D mammogram or a 2D? 3D gives more clarity. - I totally relate to @"Grandma of 7" and others and all your comments...I am in the same situation and when I talk to others who have had a bilateral mastectomy- I wish I had too as t the htought of BC popping up in the other one is ALWAYS there....
I am currently weighing up the decision to proceed with having the other one removed and grappling with the trauma of another operation ..it is such an individual decision and there is a lot to consider. Our ever reliable gut feelings though tend to guide us to the best decision...best of luck everyone with what you decide...and if we consider all options put on the table by our specialists and our inner voice the right decision will come to us..
much love to all Patricia xx - There isn't an easy solution, so I just kept mine as I didn't need to have unnecessary surgery. @Hankster sums it up nicely and did what was best for her situation, but there are no guarantees either way.
