I am one that tends to internalise things and just deal with it at the time and then have a breakdown later on. Happened when I saw my mother dying of cancer and about a year later I had a meltdown, got diagnosed with situational depression and was on antidepressants for a couple of years. Have been feeling ok about the whole breast cancer thing, losing a breast, chemo etc but know the same thing could happen so have taken advantage of being able to get 10 heavily discounted sessions so have my first appointment with a shrink Thursday week. I do have days where I mourn the loss of my boob and know I will have to live with the fear of this cancer popping back somewhere else for the rest of my life but unfortunately this is now the new normal.
I was apprehensive about chemo too and although it wasn’t fun it wasn’t as bad for the most part as I expected. Some cycles/days were worse than others and we are all here to support u. I had the TC chemo too.
Glad u have your counselling booked in too xoxox