Hi all, this forum has been invaluable to me since my diagnosis on May 26 this year. Had lumpectomy ,left breast,including loss of nipple, clear margins, nodes all clear. Yay! Stage 1, grade 3.About to start chemo, TC, on Thursday.Have lots of support too, I am very fortunate.I feel as prepared as I can be.....everyone on here’s advice etc. and lots of my own research.I have had clinically diagnosed major depression for about 20 years and then added PTSD from an incident about 12 years ago. Now BC.My gp has explained that often people with mental health issues cope very differently with physical illness. Because I can see what’s wrong and actually do something about it, meaning surgery , chemo etc, I can deal with it.who would’ve thought I’d be saying yay for depression!?Anyway, I was at first, very upbeat, not scared, sleeping fine.....here comes the rant......post surgery now , I hate the way I look, I am terrified of starting chemo and don’t want to get out of bed.Yes, I have counselling all booked in and my gp is seeing me fortnightly.I have so much to be grateful for, and I am.Anyone able to share their mix of Mental health and BC?Hoping I’m not alone.Best wishes to all.xxx

Hi @Fletch , interesting what your GP mentioned. I have suffered from depression on and off for years and have found cancer easier to deal with in many ways. For one thing, I have been able to reach out to family and friends for support without feelings of shame or stigma. To lean on others during cancer treatment is such a socially sanctioned act, isn't it?I have had many feelings during this experience, from a zen like acceptance to hyperventilating about my imminent mortality in the wee hours. I had chemo first, so I didn't have time to panic about it before it started. Surgery will be the last step for me and I'm fairly certain that I'm going to panic more closer to the time (late October). At the moment I am dealing with it by trying not to think about it. Because I knew that counseling has been helpful to me during depression, I took up the offer of counseling during cancer treatment with gratitude. My counselor is lovely, and is particularly helpful in letting me know when what I am feeling is similar to others going through cancer. I hope you will find it helpful too.xxx and many hugs.

I have veered from shock to numbness to anxiety through the first half of active treatment. I handled surgery pretty well, and I walked off my anxiety every morning over 5km and often came home to update my blog or rant on this site about something. Chemo gradually knocked the physical stuffing out of me which made it impossible to do those walks by about a third of the way through. Depression and a feeling of pointlessness has come by to visit and like an unwelcome visitor, refuses to move on. I am trying (unsuccessfully) at the moment, to book into a psychologist - I don't know if I will be able to open up to her/him but I need to try as this is a long haul. What you have said about earlier depression helping with this experience has rung some bells for me. My older sister, who lost her fight with BC in 1999, had also suffered with mental illness for all of her life and started receiving treatment as a teenager. As I was younger, the family policy was to keep me in the dark about a lot of stuff that was going on, but I do remember her saying on a couple of occasions, that she was very comfortable discussing the treatment side of the cancer (but not the emotional side). I wonder if it was because it was something that for her, seemed tangible? My sister's mental health always caused significant problems for her but my admiration for how she lived with the BC has grown with my own diagnosis.

I've gone from being a bit depressed and edgy sometimes to being actively odd. I worked in a very public environment for years but didn't socialise much. I accept visitors, but never enjoyed crowds or noise. I don't even like having the TV on in the house unless I'm watching it. The only music I can tolerate is at the gym or in the car--in both cases it disguises the creaks and rattles.Lately I've become very reclusive. I went to Melbourne for the conference and it's taken me days to settle down. I communicate via phone or Internet but apart from going to the gym and shopping I don't talk to anyone I don't know if I can avoid it. Weird, huh? I think the chemo and AI have so affected my brain that I'm anxious about how I present if I have to say anything more than 'Please' and 'Thankyou' This is not helpful for a woman who needs to get back into the workforce. BC the gift that keeps on giving. Stay in bed for a couple of days if you want to. It gets really boring and smelly so you will get out in your own time. Mxx

Wow! I can’t thank you all enough for sharing. I saw the counsellor this morning and feel so much better. The combination of that and this forum is perfect for me!I am as prepared as I can be and have sooooo much support.Let the ride begin!Thank you all .

I was diagnosed May 2011, radical left masectomy Dec. 2011, have been on x3 weekly infusions of Herceptin (up to no. 93), a recurrence excised May 2016 and a new one just identified under the original scar tissue - x15 radiotherapy treatments starting tomorrow. For the last seven years, other than a feeling of sadness now and again, I've been on an emotional and cognitive 'even keel'. Following a car accident 16 years ago I was diagnosed with PTSD by a clinical psych. My PTSD symptoms were very different to just a feeling of sadness - I won't give details as our responses and reactions to the world are all different. Only recently I noticed that I was feeling a little anxious about things that I would normally hardly notice, eg, making a mistake in my diary, forgetting to phone a friend. I was becoming hyper-vigilant about the small stuff and from my previous experience of PTSD decided I needed a bit of help. I phoned the Cancer Council and spoke with a counselor (an angel in disguise). The outcome of that conversation is that she helped me to understand and acknowledge the ongoing impact of living with BC - its stressful and too much stress can trigger depression. I would not hesitate to have a few sessions with a clinical psychologist. xBeryl

Depression,PTSD and BC | BCNA Online Network

50 Replies

kmakm
Member
8 years ago
I think that's an excellent analogy @Sister.
Sister
Member
8 years ago
I always find it amazing how walking can be quite meditative and mindful (there's some buzz words). I was out at dawn this morning and I was thinking about my sessions with the psychologist and how I've used her to offload more than anything . It came to me that my thoughts have been much like a load of soggy washing a dryer - spinning around, tangling up but going nowhere fast. Seeing the psych is like having to take that heavy load of washing outside, shake things out and hang them on the line in the sunlight. Hopefully, I will get to the stage where I can take them off, fold them and put them away - use some of them and maybe throw some things away that are worn out or no longer fit.
Sarnicad
Member
8 years ago
And this is why they say our mental health system needs work.

I think I’ve been fortunate. My onc has a psych as a part of his team and my gp wrote my mental health plan asap once I asked for it to be done. That said my gp has had me in major tears so had already offered a psych appt to me previously with the psych in her practice. I did giggle at the last question I was asked in that assessment about suicide - my answer was things are bad but not that bad.

Ive managed 2 sessions with the psych and she has given me some great strategies for dealing with a few things and recorded a relaxation exercise to my phone which when I was up in the middle of last night I used and it got me back to sleep
Vangirl
Member
8 years ago
@Sister Also you never quite know where you're going to be mood wise, in my experience. The psychological support on offer is fantastic but not responsive enough.
Sister
Member
8 years ago
I know that the ideal would have been to make an appointment months before but I just wasn't ready to talk to anyone until I got near the end of chemo.
kmakm
Member
8 years ago
@Sister It really isn't. It was the first thing I asked for at diagnosis. I just checked my calendar, I had to wait a week short of two months.
arpie
Member
8 years ago
We need a GRRRRRRR button!!!! That is disgusting, @Sister :( TOTALLY NOT GOOD ENOUGH!

BIG Hugs coming your way xxx
Sister
Member
8 years ago
It isn't good enough, is it? I wasn't suicidal but I knew that I was hanging by a thread.
kmakm
Member
8 years ago
It's not good enough.
Vangirl
Member
8 years ago
I've been trying to get a psychologist appointment for weeks now. Finally got a letter with an appointment time last week (after requests to both BC nurse and oncologist) but it is more than a month away, and I won't be in the country :(

Also, the department only has its phones manned one day per week and the hospital switchboard staff doesn't seem to know where calls should be directed.

Good thing I'm not about to take myself out!

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Depression,PTSD and BC

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