@Cyclo, you're damn well entitled to feel depressed!!! Fantastic news you've had the one year all clear but you know, you've been through the wringer. I think sometimes you feel left with some distrust in your body to do the right thing. You sound like you are really looking after your physical self really well. Sometimes the emotional or mental self needs a bit more attention... You've done the right thing to be reaching out. And hey, there's no roadmap or directions that say you have to be bright and breezy and chirpy - I allow the sadness or whatever to touch me like the edge of the water at the beach splashing over my toes - I just don't allow a wave to take me under xxoo