Breasts after conservation

Hi ladies and gents , just wanted to ask a question about getting back to normal after bilateral Wide excision and node removal , so far ( touch wood ) things have been good and I ' only ' needed radiation.  My dilemma here ( and I profusely apologise to all our friends on here for whom mastectomy was the only choice ) is that I absolutely HATE my breasts , they don't look like mine of feel like mine and everyone I shower and see the rads tattoo's I want to cry ! Has anybody else felt like this or am I going nuts ? If anyone has been thru the same emotions I would love to hear from you . TIA 

Kathy